According to Terminator Chronicles, Skynet goes self aware at 8:11 tonight. The attack begins thursday.

@realgilbert The new Aflac duck voice fucking sucks. That is all.

@merleihneiii @realgilbert was making 9/11 jokes within the week. He's not an idiot, he's consistent, you guys are the idiots.

@ruckaruckaali you're a hero, everyone needs to know Zayn did 9/11!

@ruckaruckaali Thank you for warning me about Zayn the terrorist. I always thought he looked like one. I'll be careful.

@nikiwithissues Ned's dead, baby.

Ned's dead.

@_scottroy @corybmorgan Hey at least somebody gives a shit #occupycalgary

@noogscorner all I have is this giant slingshot

@noogscorner it started hundreds of years ago when some wizard was making a joke about a clean getaway and it just kinda caught on.

I formerly denounce Paul Hughes. Been doing it for years. I'll do it currently too. #occupycalgary

@tomleykis @cnn @johnkingcnn Seriously, Tom, how fucking horrible is CNN? LMFAO.

@noogscorner the highly motivated pot dealer is a rare gem indeed.

@rubyameow the one with the bat coming out of it is your vagina.

What a slaughter #SuperBowl

@nikiwithissues Turns out she wasn't in the mood at the time. Fuck you women are complicated.

@scaryperry818 I don't know why you always start shit with @ruckaruckaali but SNAP! you got him there.

@ruckaruckaali my feed is blowing up with people talking about how great "Give Me a Hand Perry" is and how awesome @scaryperry818 is in it!

@noogscorner You had stairs when you were a kid? Lucky bastard.

@mouthymess it just means tomorrow you have to go out with an ugly smart guy.

@ggfrancesca The pretty ones are always complicated.