Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Huge congrats to every single religion for tying for World's Dumbest Religion!!!
Why does my car radio have an "A.M./P.M." setting? If you don't know whether it's day or night, maybe you shouldn't be driving a car.
Has anyone broken up with someone via fax machine?
I ordered a butt plug so large it had to be shipped as freight.
May return to stand-up because I need a place to try out my jokes for Twitter.
"Put it in your mouth and lick it until it gets soft, then bite it." ~my wife telling my daughter how to eat hard candy.
Quit fucking around and give me a #FF so I can hit 200k followers and send myself balloons. #Cuntz
I recently got in touch with my feminine side and she is a total bitch.
My favorite food is basically any kind of nugget.
I love looking at myself in the fun house mirrors, especially the one that makes my dick look huge.
Easter morning kids wake-up and run around frantically trying to be the first one to find an egg. So basically they act like sperm.
Ass: The other vagina
Halloween is this Sunday! No? Oops, my mistake, I confused it with another holiday that involves a bullshit story about the walking dead.
Just booty called myself. Ugh.
What has 9 arms and sucks?