Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Cigarettes might seem expensive but they give you 43 known carcinogens and 400 other toxic chemicals in one hit.
I watch lesbian porn for the plot development
Gay zombies will literally eat a bag of dicks.
Text REDCROSS to 90999 and automatically donate $10 to help those folks in Oklahoma. Do it on your phone & on all unattended phones you see.
no YOU'RE taking a pregnancy test in an ihop bathroom
Take life seriously, not fucking Twitter.
If I'm not gonna be making money is rather be doing productive things like drinking
Even when I dated a blind girl she ended up seeing someone else.
All my exes live in Netflix.
Yeah I read your blog, more like blaaaaaaaaahhhg
the birds outside my window won't stop retweeting each other
RT if you're an idiot.
Good tweets are like good tits in that I have never had either.
Horton Hears a Who Hurt You
Grabs beets at grocery store and starts turning them all around.
cause I'm free...free ballin'
*shows my abs to the night sky*