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Tired of old people telling me I'm attractive while girls my age tell me welcome to mcdonalds can I take your order
Hi, nice to meet you, my name *shoots self in the head*
*goes to heaven*
*looks back on life*
I guess I maybe could have done that better
"Just Biden my time, Barry"
Joe if you keep saying that I'm gonna have to kick you out.
"Well, I guess this is good byeden"
GET OUT GET OU
Ever notice how Dan Ryan Expressway is an anagram for Ayn Rand Warp Sex Yes? Makes you think.
Who has political influence over the Iranian elitists and made you Supreme Leader in authoritarian Iran, effectively making u king?
What does a tongue in a doctors office and myself have in common?
We're both depressed!
*cue 90's sitcom laugh-track*
No Ted and Victoria are breaking up! This is the worst! Also happened like 6 years ago! 😥
There are few things in life that make me happier than a well timed "at niiiight" quote.
There's a machine that replicates Beyonces? We.. we won. America wins. *starts crying, throwing things in the air* WE WON. WE DID IT.