@dearanyone I don't know what I was expecting

Kind of sad Rick Moranis quit acting before the CGI technology could really cater to his needs.

The only thing that will ever balance out the world to fairness, is if Taylor Swift disrupts the birth of Kanye and Kim's baby.

The ghost icon on the snapchat app is the hunting nightmares of your screen shot that made it back to all of her friends.

There have been more popes this millennium than hosts of MTV's Total Request Live.

Hurry up and tell your crappy story, or you could just WAIT until you hear mine!!

The best way to never advance in life is by including your middle initial every time you pronounce your name.

Whenever a rapper mentions a past song he's written, it counts as a history credit in Baltimore Public Schools

You mean to tell me it's not the Fiscal Cleft, and the whole country wasn't concerned about how I was going to finance my chin surgery?

Guys, they trick to Breakfast in bed is falling asleep with it the night before

I like movies that has a cast consisting of desperate actors who hate waiting tables

I used to think that being able to walk to elementary school was the coolest thing ever. Now, it doesn't even rank in like the top 8

Fun fact: one of the high paying jobs Obama turned down was replacing Marky Ramome as the drummer for The Ramones.

Wearing a cowboy hat at the RNC is like wearing two condoms.

Shorts and a dress shirt with a tie today. I can't even convince myself I didn't join the hitler youth.

It's even harder to believe that some people weren't! RT @frank_ocean it's hard to believe some people were ever babies.

Burger King puts an onion ring in your french fries because they're secretly your best friend.

Convinced that Newt Gingrich and John McCain bought their wives from the same store

He eats pizza just like us RT @punkhistory #FF Mall-punk pioneer @petewentz of Fall Out Boy. #FollowAMallPunk

Once a text box, always a text box. Always.