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news flash: Mitt Romney has announced that he is now and has always been running with Joe Biden as his running mate.
If your 1st response to the shooting of dozens of children was to rush out in a 2nd amendment frenzy to buy guns, you are a loathsome human.
Pants or no pants,Fred Willard is a genius and a great guy.Besides, masturbating in porn theater is just good manners.Like belching in Japan
Raising taxes lowers revenue in the same way raising intelligence lowers republican voter turnout.
For the sake of my daughter's future I deeply, and without irony, relieved that Barack Obama has been re-elected.
Two neurons inadvertently fired simultaneously in Sarah Palin's brain generating a thought.She is expected to make a full recovery.
I raise a glass of whisky & toast National Marijuana Day because I believe in building bridges. Stoners. Drunks. Let's set an example.
For the sake of my daughter's future I am deeply, and without irony, relieved that Barack Obama has been re-elected.
Mitt Romney for President. Jokes no longer necessary.
Gary Busey endorsed Donald Trump today. I'm starting to question Gary's judgement.
Today I give thanks for, oh fuck, I'm Canadian. Never mind.
John Boehner has congratulated George W Bush for his brave plan to want Bin Laden dead. He also gave Obama a polite nod for killing him.
Michelle Bachman is hilarious.People killed by hurricane Irene really need to lighten up.
NATO airstrikes take out 3 of 5 spellings of Gadhafi's name, seriously damaging his ability to take part in book signings.
Watching Michele Bachman's not-gay husband crumble in the public spotlight like a vampire in sunlight, is going to be faaabulous.
I just beat up my daughter's 2nd grade teacher. Maybe now she'll think twice before destroying America.
Shit. Wikileaks just got hold of all my high school poetry.
A comedian from the 90s. Capable of almost 12 facial expressions though I rarely use more than 4 of them.