1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family. Who is it?

If you think that Obama's win will cause you to be unemployed after college, then you probably would have been unemployed anyway.

We Bought a Zooey Deschanel

Romney spent over $800 million to not be president. I spent nothing for the same result. Who's the better business man now?

OH HEY THERE QUENTIN TARANTINO. NICE TO MEET YOU! #SDCC http://t.co/oQDu2GBf

Let pancakes open the door to your heart

I say everything with a straight face just in case people don't think I'm funny

"Yo Mr. waiter guy, I think my spoon is broke. It won't hold no soup." -Vin Diesel eating soup with a fork #VinDieselSunday

#LessInterestingBooks Planet of The Drapes

RT if you secretly worship satan or like cake

sext: I follow back.

Jeff Bridges as The Giver?! I will gladly receive that.

My dad isn't black but I've watched a lot of sitcoms so I know where you're coming from

The Perks of Openly Weeping in a Movie Theater

Britain: let me play you the song of my people
Britain: YO I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT

My highlight of #SDCC 2012? Meeting the man himself, Quentin Tarantino. @unchainedmovie http://t.co/A6Nh4xfb

Pretty much every character on Mad Men is a terrible person

St. Patrick's Day: A holiday celebrating the disney channel original movie "The Luck of the Irish"

The Habbit- Bilbo and Friends go to an AA meeting

No one tweets like Gaston, no one Instagrams like Gaston, no one shops at urban outfitters like Gaston