So girls have gone from making up their faces to making up their names. Wtf is Gherniphar Arhma Danchoir? Even the Dankwa too?! Hoh!

Girl: Are u on whatsapp?
Boy: As in?
Girl: Do u know whatsapp?
Boy: Well, not to brag but my eyes opened long time. I knew wassup since JSS!

No one can question Mahama in the future and say he has done nothing for Ghana; his answer will be "Did I say I'll do anything?"

I can imagine how the Nigerians are jubilating in their accent: "We ave won the cop, H'AFCON Twentey Taateen, in 'youer' (your) face."

If your bf is still using sms and 'pay for me' services, today the Lord sent me to tell him "Enough is Enough, Pharaoh, let my daughter go."

But some girls' bios and tweets tho. Bio: GOD first, nothing else! I love Jesus | Tweets: I'm the baddest bitch you would ever eat.

That moment when u kiss a girl n she burps...n the smell of abenkwan takes over the place.
"I thought u said u ate cornflakes this morning."

One time I slept in a leg girl's room, she went from Beyonce in the night to Grandma in the mornin. That's the day I gave my life to Christ.

Age 7: "I want to be a Lawyer." Age 16: "Mummy, look! All A's!" Age 20: "Law is hard." Age 35: "Make some noise for Dj Musa!!!"

I hate tweets which beg for RT's. If the tweet is good, people will RT without being asked. Nonsense.
RT if you feel me.

Girls tweeting "I'm wet" for attention; if your nakedness in your avi is not enough, give your life to Jesus for all the attention you need.

@africandad cos marriage gives access to witches from your spouse's family to you, and Obroni girls don't have witches in their familes.

2 tribes in Northern Region strtd fightn bcos a god frm one tribe drunk the other tribe's libation n refusd to spit it out #GhanaianHistory.

Nigerian names make Ewe names look Western. Imachakulenu vs Dzifa.

ECG, MTN, DSTV, and the rain work under the same management.

One lonely night, Nana Addo thought of people like this and said "I found the solution! Free SHS!" "@sum_gal_bi: NPP in ya phaix"

In case she gets a random visit from MTV Graves abi? "@uberfacts: Whitney Houston was buried with $500,000 worth of clothes and jewelry."

Tech is like a university -- UCC is like a research field -- Leg is like a social network.

U say u don't eat pigs because demons entered pigs in the bible. U know Esau sold his birthright for beans? I still see u in gob3 line tho..

Ashesi is like a university -- Central is like a community college -- RMU is like a swimming club -- Zenith is like a warehouse.