57% of Americans are opposed to same-sex marriage. When interracial marriage was legalized, 72% of Americans opposed it. Just FYI.

New Oreo commercial : lick or be licked. Just makes me want a cookie. And for this I am ashamed.

Washing down chocolate cake with wine. I figure if alcohol kills germs, it must kill calories too.

Someone forgot to invite Florida to winter.

Sitting in the recliner watching p90x is exhausting.

Maybe tomorrow I'll actually stand up and watch.

Mama always said you can't fix stupid. That's okay. I'd rather kick it in it's fucking balls.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I'm going to get coffee wasted this morning and there is no need in trying to talk me out of it.

My body is pissed at me for going to the gym and I haven't even started the work out.

Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.

DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN I TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK THE voice in your head goes back to normal

I need to be de-domesticated.

If everything is coming your way, you are probably on a one way street going the wrong way.

Plus side of moving : I can say my sanity hasn't been unpacked yet.

Dsappointed that my TL informed me that Snooki is w/ child. Also disappointed I know who that is and why it is sad for future generations.

Pathetic that I want to stay sitting here @ Five Guys just because I know I won't find music this good on the car radio

quick conversations ftw

In case of shutdown, Congress still gets paid. THIS is change we need.

You cannot learn from the mistakes you do not make. #ps

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.