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Romney wanted to create more jobs. Concede Mitt and let us go to sleep so we can get up and go to work.
If you're a parent and consider yourself "spiritual" and you don't use "I'm going to meditate" to go take a nap. You're doing it wrong.
I had breakfast in bed today and the people at Anthropologie were NOT happy about it.
"you know I have three kids right?" - me to my wife every time she tries to give me an entire episode recap of Parenthood.
Why did Breaking Bad end last night? Because no more Walter White after labor day. Breaking: Bad joke
When you're young you're worried about not having evening plans. When you're older you're worried your plans are going to confirm.
Am I still allowed to have friends if I twerk?
no truer words are ever spoken than "I'm so drunk"
As a student of life, just asking, is all of this going to be on the final exam?
Never tell your hair it's having a bad hair day, tell it, in this moment it's not acting as it should -parenting lessons applied to grooming
So apparently earthquakes are now trendy in Beverly Hills. Ugh! what am I going to wear to the next one?