LOL, OMG and FYI have been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Somewhere in 1596, Shakespeare begins to weep inexplicably.

If you aren't celebrating #StarWarsDay by blowing up planets and kidnapping Princesses, you're doing it wrong. #MayThe4thBeWithYou

In our galaxy, instead of using Facebook Messenger we use a thing called Actually Talking to One Another. You should try it.

Natalie Portman had a son. In unrelated news, everyone here on the Death Star is suddenly looking a little nervous. #StarWars

Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you, your lightsaber battles plentiful and may you always find the droids you're looking for.

TO DO:
✔Take your love
✔Take your land
✔Take you where you cannot stand
✔Burn the land
✔Boil the sea
❒Take the sky from you

#IfTheWorldEndsOnSaturday we didn't do it.

Okay, fine. It was us.

But you guys totally deserved it.

IT'S INTERNATIONAL #CAPSLOCKDAY. IF YOU'RE JUST *TYPING* IN CAPS, YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH. GO SCREAM AT PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE.

If you say, "May the 4th Be With You" to someone and they call you a nerd, it's totally not illegal to Force choke them. #MayThe4thBeWithYou

Vader and Palpatine's Google+ accounts suspended for being "fictional". Guess which planet's going to be "fictional" by Monday?

The most important thing in life is to be yourself. Unless you can be Darth Batman. Always be Darth Batman. http://t.co/wR0aXxTp

If you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably just being realistic.

Christopher Columbus: discovered nothing, kidnapped, enslaved & murdered natives & gets a national holiday honoring him? Well played, sir.

"#ilovemydadeventhough he cut off my hand, kind of killed my mum and took over the entire galaxy." -Luke Skywalker #StarWars

Kids, one important thing to learn in life is to never look back. That's where all the monsters are.

Earth, your planet is due for apocalypse but DON'T PANIC. We have prepared this helpful FLOWCHART: http://bit.ly/keIOr6 #Rapture

Kind of hard to maintain your image as a ruthless, planet-destroying Galactic Empire when your new boss is a mouse. #StarWars #Disney

The Pirate Bay's founders go to jail, while the folks who make guns & cigarettes eat caviar in yachts. Legal system working as intended.

#ificouldiwouldbringback the last shred of dignity Earth still had before Jersey Shore and Toddlers & Tiaras became hit shows.

Love is like an Ewok: cute from a distance but up close; smelly, difficult to understand and likely to beat you to death with sticks.