Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Fuck me like your dick is on caps lock.
Age? Im hotter than 2/3 the chicks 1/2 my age, I have double the sex drive, & I know at least 10 times more stuff to do in the bedroom.
You say period, I say analfest.
Misery might 'like' company, but it loves the shit out of Facebook.
It's dark in here. I can't find my boundaries.
My box is better than an XBox because all the games are included and you already have the controller.
Hey do you think 'I was in an alcoholic blackout' is the best way to explain the gaps on my resume?
Orgasms are always good. Consistently having them day after day, with the person that makes you laugh just as hard, even better.
I won't take restraining order for an answer.
And today in the kitchen Im creating a little something I like to call "shut up and eat it if you expect a blowjob later".
Its not a lady boner, its more of a shark fin.
Why doesnt doggy toothpaste come in flavors I know they would like, such as 'ass' & 'crotch' & '3 day old garbage'?
Both my ends are business ends.
Doesn't matter how nice of a restaurant we go to, if you speak less than politely to the waiter, or leave a shitty tip, the date is over.
I cant be sure, but I think I just had normal people sex.
Gentlemen, fuck your ladies like you really, really mean it. Every time.
Girls, if it's not far enough down your throat that your concern isnt getting oxygen, but how its going to taste, you arent doing it right.
Sex or pancakes? Ok, both it is.
My butt plug is my big girl binkie.