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  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Sucks when I'm about to have sex & she says, 'Please don't break my heart' & I have to reassure her that my penis will NOT reach that far

    • 198
    • FAVS
    TheeMsalameKythhI_am_1NavyAdmralOnyxMosesKenblazedMistaEddluseeeeboazozzy
    • 483
    • RETWEETS
    ksheqxxlazyacholironitharrytrish886BwomonoSsaddamkitesthesuspekt92Katziotho
    grimpossibleSamzen_nerdcula_wangweFriesWhisperer
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Difference between dry-spell & friend-zone is that you'd rather be in a desert than being in a river with water you can't drink LOL

    • 97
    • FAVS
    onume_KagzthedonMiss_LynnRoseKaaru254ItsDemorayarshdarlin__arerry__Tinanjoroge
    • 407
    • RETWEETS
    EddieOtienoBillMbaumich_shellieJosaG_ChantezLeoWillie_ngangaMiss_LynnRosenjoti
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    TheKenyan_simonnn1macharia_mbuguaspartta_conradoTheNigga_MilesDanielki_HardleyMalemastakri_gi
    • 393
    • RETWEETS
    wahuKEKayvoh_QareoqeeIts_Onyangosimonnn1Wanjiku_Esterrificmike_NJerII_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Why do guys hold grudges against girls who rejected them so long ago? Anyway if you're reading this Mary from primary school, YOU'RE A WHORE

    • 109
    • FAVS
    lawaljalalTheKenyan_busingyejoera3ackkrow_mcthebassomatic76CASHMEREMINDrevious
    • 349
    • RETWEETS
    ole_eviltwinMalloy_BryanChwakie_SirMash_jadytrixiNimm_SiriZetuMocco_Gotti
    onume_OfficeofSteve
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    At this rate, we can expect the 'EBOLA' movie in 2015 directed by Michael Bay, starring Brad Pitt as a Nigerian doctor who saves the world

    • 98
    • FAVS
    albywizzyIamSteffyiam_minnaonume_Ndonyeehvicky895FerraoAaronAureusSicarius
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzyKTabaziIamSteffyMC_EihttnakiggweviolaAttilla_IVlilkomDenzZ_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #FolderNamesToHidePornOnPc ''IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE''

    • 41
    • FAVS
    onume_Kagzthedonxysistkasumuni_iKgbenzzalbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGA
    • 337
    • RETWEETS
    QareoqeeiKgbenzzatldesirealbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGALeeSidney_denkely
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Kenya would be the kid who doesn't pay attention in class cause he's too busy writing love letters to China #africannationsinhighschool

    • 66
    • FAVS
    albywizzyonume_Inthyokasumuni_fkdonkoriKgbenzzjuniperteshFathiaXxX
    • 274
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzyKmkubyaneInthyoNMogireiKgbenzzevakawiraNgerukNgerufwkiragu
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Her: Sorry, but I only like you as a friend
    Me: That's cool, I like you as a Tomato
    Her: But I'm not a Tomato
    Me; See where I'm coming from?

    • 77
    • FAVS
    RobertpapsiempoziiNahiryaAprilleehleriAm_MakhubuObaJaiyeobaSir_Winchester_Rovinak
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    WildFlawazalbutoslagsmpoziiNahiryaAprilOtis441DkollinsayzJimJayceTHEonlyYosh
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Compliment a pretty girl, she'll think you just want sex. Compliment an ugly girl, she'll think you're lying. Lesson? Compliment a sandwich

    • 75
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzzMangelatoledoTAlma_NoSoulxysistc8kleggtherewillbtacos1234_thumbwarerdincyilmaz7
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    Malloy_BryanEye3ohlerialemole_eviltwiniKgbenzzA_MaNuel_256aTract7vikkibranden
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    A girl can't even find her bunch of keys in her own handbag, how the hell is she going to find happiness in a man?

    • 65
    • FAVS
    Samzen_VikkiMarsdeniKgbenzzmo_kemuntoxysistkamasiziagellafnjorwaKipKollins
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    QareoqeeKenwamaAchichi65MugambiNandiKipchobitRihannaUKAbdulColloMalloy_Bryan
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If your girlfriend never comes home complaining about the bitch at work that everyone hates, THEN SHE'S THAT BITCH LOL.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    radtoriaRojjayxysistkasumuni_kevsters__irenesconciergeiKgbenzzalbywizzy
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    QareoqeePogreyFox__Lilly_lishbirch_kalawaEmahnueHed04808AliceMiss_Chess
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    UK: On a scale of 1-10, how do you think my #StateOfTheNation speech went?
    Maggie: It was...*wears sunglasses* Beyond Zero
    YEAAAAAH

    • 43
    • FAVS
    QareoqeeSamzen_Ruto_Kneuro_wordsjacmucjoemburuThe_AyodiGachara
    • 200
    • RETWEETS
    pithbwoyEye3ohmbaraniianmbundeOderoAluluTheRealShujaahivanjambaKMikhaell
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I hope all those CCTV cameras being set up around town will capture Safaricom stealing our money too

    • 51
    • FAVS
    triza6xysistCarolMoraasalaakyutKanorio_dkabirumtalii36mbarani
    • 184
    • RETWEETS
    _KogivickiesandraMutahiLynnsalaakyutJimJimmex_kamau_ThuggaholicRoyaleBarbie
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'd rather make fun of myself everyday on twitter than pick on someone I don't know who may be going through some real tough shit

    • 60
    • FAVS
    onume_MumakwaAndysolo_ambukuTheKenyanDreamxysistMelvinofYorkkasumuni_KiddyYusuf
    • 159
    • RETWEETS
    QareoqeeMumakwaAndySweetlinxTheKenyanDream_Chake_dennisnyalah1Willie_ngangamokayah
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    LOL some peeps at KBC are showing up at work for the first time since the world cup

    • 26
    • FAVS
    albywizzyiKgbenzzdennis_kirimiMuriuqihsichshiriCruzStefanQinyanjuionume_
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzysamuraimkenyaItskiamaOgeto_Aoko___iKgbenzz_GenghisKthekidDarryl
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my boss is a dick, but when people want to find out if he's reached the office they ask, 'is it in yet?'

    • 50
    • FAVS
    hornyjane87riddens_XLCadillacmikecaptain4iKgbenzz_Kuria_CueSanityWildeThingy
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    QareoqeeoffpeeKubz_BomayeJudekendiEye3ohmulosriddens_XLCadillac
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #MeninistTwitter You can't hate me just cause some OTHER guy hurt you. This isn't candy crush: We don't donate lives to each other

    • 47
    • FAVS
    albywizzyonume_Samzen_iKgbenzzxysist_wangwerichardmantoolThisIsJoshSmith__
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    TheeMsalamealbywizzyEye3ohiKgbenzzZoeLane92TheJadesoladbestsmilesTheMarkKnight_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If you don't take the time to tell your GF that she's beautiful, some other guy will. Which is cool, cause you're not a liar LOL

    • 44
    • FAVS
    onume_Samzen_DjByHandleGishuvskife73965433a64ffpravzpsycheHeyKateloniKgbenzz
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    tittoIXGishuvskiEye3ohterrificmikedribspeed_The_100110010MsWalchimwetich_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Even Obama produces identification when he goes to vote. Wetangula thinks everyone has a life-size poster of him in their bedrooms

    • 30
    • FAVS
    albywizzyonume_KagzthedonSamzen_iKgbenzz_wangwesophymwangihkangangi
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    NaheemMUFC_mapesa_Eye3ohiKgbenzzShiroWaruinge_wezdom_Steve_JnrsYegonian
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    Gishuvskiqueenscot__SeweOfficialXLCadillaciKgbenzzracHElaygckA_marakittspa
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    GishuvskiEye3ohMluhyiaWaBusiamohamudmohamudXLCadillac_OjowAweShadySomeDrunkbastard69
@Dee_spicable

@Dee_spicable

Creeping it real ......ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ #YNWA

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