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  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Sucks when I'm about to have sex & she says, 'Please don't break my heart' & I have to reassure her that my penis will NOT reach that far

    • 160
    • FAVS
    Ma_goderadtoriaPerseoidapmburuEliakim_EliKttykinzmohamedkomz254_007
    • 389
    • RETWEETS
    harrymfalmePerseoidwech_nealjumareh_Carytoshkevoice_KttykinzOketchDerrick2
    grimpossibleSamzen_nerdcula_wangweFriesWhisperer
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Difference between dry-spell & friend-zone is that you'd rather be in a desert than being in a river with water you can't drink LOL

    • 91
    • FAVS
    kevthanewversiBrikizmachetemarshbahomesichshirimattngungusmifranairobian_
    • 389
    • RETWEETS
    tomojnr_maxcomfortzonegeorgeskisiluJohnizymutwizytheMachoRedStepnuts_Okoth_NyaSerikal
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #FolderNamesToHidePornOnPc ''IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE''

    • 40
    • FAVS
    xysistkasumuni_iKgbenzzalbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGAdenkelyericsshadow
    • 336
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzatldesirealbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGALeeSidney_denkelygeoffreynyaga
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Kenya would be the kid who doesn't pay attention in class cause he's too busy writing love letters to China #africannationsinhighschool

    • 64
    • FAVS
    Inthyokasumuni_fkdonkoriKgbenzzjuniperteshFathiaXxXMissRaissatotouwera
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    KmkubyaneInthyoNMogireiKgbenzzevakawiraNgerukNgerufwkiraguhey_auds______
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Why do guys hold grudges against girls who rejected them so long ago? Anyway if you're reading this Mary from primary school, YOU'RE A WHORE

    • 86
    • FAVS
    radtoriaAngieA50SarahSempala93bwrcacallmesymonPerseoidxysistangy1monroe
    • 247
    • RETWEETS
    HarrisonMarekaAngieA50musudani3cocozMiss_ChessSirJanamWritelJefftheMUSIIME
    OfficeofSteve
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.

    • 61
    • FAVS
    radtoriarogueMUGAPerseoidxysistalbywizzykittspaAMphilip_toluOloruntoba
    • 266
    • RETWEETS
    rogueMUGAPerseoidAm_BronzeStarlitozAmbani_SakaNgugi_1DjahrodMr_Oyedele
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Compliment a pretty girl, she'll think you just want sex. Compliment an ugly girl, she'll think you're lying. Lesson? Compliment a sandwich

    • 71
    • FAVS
    Alma_NoSoulxysistc8kleggtherewillbtacos1234_thumbwarerdincyilmaz7clairevgouldAuntiPax
    • 210
    • RETWEETS
    A_MaNuel_256aTract7vikkibrandencourtesyofyaboyclairevgouldcloudypianosabigbrownbeaverurbanslug
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    At this rate, we can expect the 'EBOLA' movie in 2015 directed by Michael Bay, starring Brad Pitt as a Nigerian doctor who saves the world

    • 76
    • FAVS
    xysistnikhimselfAsk_TylerDurdenAwichPatDoctorWhoRDTabmkerrwiselarYinka07
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    JoeyXLVIITheBlackOyibonavrajMickSarfo9KMLNAHAR_steviemOslyftietiebrianwangu_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If your girlfriend never comes home complaining about the bitch at work that everyone hates, THEN SHE'S THAT BITCH LOL.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    radtoriaRojjayxysistkasumuni_kevsters__duhirenesconciergeiKgbenzzalbywizzy
    • 196
    • RETWEETS
    HarrisonMarekaLilly_lishbirch_kalawaEmahnueHed04808AliceMiss_Chessbwrca
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    A girl can't even find her bunch of keys in her own handbag, how the hell is she going to find happiness in a man?

    • 63
    • FAVS
    xysistkamasiziagellafnjorwaKipKollinsGreaterKudu1brian_chanoSibsMacdMuriuqih
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    juztjulezswitkareMissMukabiMissFlawsome_SharzzySeanKipKollinsbrian_chanomomanyisam
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'd rather make fun of myself everyday on twitter than pick on someone I don't know who may be going through some real tough shit

    • 59
    • FAVS
    MumakwaAndysolo_ambukuTheKenyanDreamxysistMelvinofYorkkasumuni_KiddyYusufkneenjar
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    MumakwaAndySweetlinxTheKenyanDream_Chake_dennisnyalah1Willie_ngangamokayahNemoGee
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #MeninistTwitter You can't hate me just cause some OTHER guy hurt you. This isn't candy crush: We don't donate lives to each other

    • 44
    • FAVS
    xysist_wangwerichardmantoolThisIsJoshSmithAmaBeeeesancheezy_TeufelsKuecheninppiah
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    ZoeLane92LesJadesoladbestsmilesTheMarkKnight_sancheezy_Tintseh_look_ohAmir_SDMG
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my boss is a dick, but when people want to find out if he's reached the office they ask, 'is it in yet?'

    • 45
    • FAVS
    PerseoidCueSanityWildeThingyalbywizzyiNyagah_rogueMUGASamzen_roggyie
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    cbahorizejrtotemonkeyPerseoidamuliromLanoh_MisterAlbieCharloh__Jemalito
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Even Obama produces identification when he goes to vote. Wetangula thinks everyone has a life-size poster of him in their bedrooms

    • 26
    • FAVS
    _wangwesophymwangihkangangiDontCallMeLivJamesWaititujasonmungaruspnjorogeBlackFaiya
    • 124
    • RETWEETS
    Shiro_Waruingewezdom_BeingSmallsYegonianLazzLo_Aggymodelpistachio88aliellah
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Every time I see a prostitute walking home in the morning I salute her cause I know that somewhere, a married man finally had sex

    • 37
    • FAVS
    xysist_wangweonume_g_javellaArqamLadakalbywizzyiNyagah_rogueMUGA
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    arnoldaustinedeejayoboshmkevoice_MisterAlbiealbywizzyItsDemorayblitztimoxysist
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    KBC hasn't had this much attention since that time it broke the news about the scramble for Africa LOL

    • 26
    • FAVS
    _wangweBrikizalbywizzynikhimselfMaximilusemsykayxysistNgareLeon
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    enkerichirungu_enochmakoriChocol8FlavourShaddy_EddyMwangiPeriss_ngatiakhaleesci
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    racHElaygckA_marakittspaTarno__fractalinanerdculaBrikizSamzen_
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    Monte165SamMugangafelixSirMrSirckA_mara3cocozkevoice_Bentley20000MisterAlbie
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If you don't take the time to tell your GF that she's beautiful, some other guy will. Which is cool, cause you're not a liar LOL

    • 36
    • FAVS
    ArqamLadakEMkanjaRobinsonGitongaRojjayKenmnuCarterMicluvinkirutir3st0ring_f0rce
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    raykambaCeeLNukekevoice_fawmaster69madnjomzMisterAlbieCueSanityRosickyJr
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Lol. Muite is probably still waiting to be picked up by the Brookhouse school bus #Debate254

    • 12
    • FAVS
    albywizzyrogueMUGAroggyiekamweru_wiselarRoothyM_ivywnverbstract
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    rogueMUGAsneelawkLmwondiBaronKimaruCyclistKilledTrishk41Ngatianadia_noordin
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    '' Oil's well that ends well''- Turkana Proverbs, circa 2012 #TurkanaOil

    • 23
    • FAVS
    albywizzyrogueMUGAMumbiMwariBaronKimarueXentRic_RoothyM_kamweru_roggyie
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    MisterAlbierogueMUGAMumbiMwarikissykennysmattBaronKimarueXentRic_BarakaMwaurakamaucaren
@Dee_spicable

@Dee_spicable

I avoid kidnapping by being fat ......ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ #YNWA