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  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Sucks when I'm about to have sex & she says, 'Please don't break my heart' & I have to reassure her that my penis will NOT reach that far

    • 160
    • FAVS
    Ma_goderadtoria_Kuria_apmburuEliakim_EliKttykinzmohamedkomz254_007
    • 389
    • RETWEETS
    harrymfalme_Kuria_wech_nealjumareh_Carytoshkevoice_KttykinzOketchDerrick2
    grimpossibleSamzen_nerdcula_wangweFriesWhisperer
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Difference between dry-spell & friend-zone is that you'd rather be in a desert than being in a river with water you can't drink LOL

    • 93
    • FAVS
    arshdarlin__arerry__TinanjorogekevthanewversiBrikizmachetemarshbahomesichshiri
    • 391
    • RETWEETS
    __arerry__Tinanjorogetomojnr_maxcomfortzonegeorgeskisiluDotking_jaytheMachoRedStepnuts
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Samsung won't stop until they create a TV so curved it watches itself.

    • 83
    • FAVS
    Missy_KellDiveInsideMindsHEMANI__jovdheevercathe05rinastylebizarrenoodlesndoodlessgtpepperfloyd
    • 317
    • RETWEETS
    GadijaAbrahams6BlaqMagiqComDie_Lize_gaila_91838marcusdariespctewtamzinarendseBookOfMaq
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #FolderNamesToHidePornOnPc ''IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE''

    • 40
    • FAVS
    xysistkasumuni_iKgbenzzalbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGAdenkelyericsshadow
    • 336
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzatldesirealbywizzymisskerry_rogueMUGALeeSidney_denkelygeoffreynyaga
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Kenya would be the kid who doesn't pay attention in class cause he's too busy writing love letters to China #africannationsinhighschool

    • 64
    • FAVS
    Inthyokasumuni_fkdonkoriKgbenzzjuniperteshFathiaXxXMissRaissatotouwera
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    KmkubyaneInthyoNMogireiKgbenzzevakawiraNgerukNgerufwkiraguhey_auds______
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Why do guys hold grudges against girls who rejected them so long ago? Anyway if you're reading this Mary from primary school, YOU'RE A WHORE

    • 86
    • FAVS
    radtoriaAngieA50SarahSempala93bwrcacallmesymon_Kuria_xysistangy1monroe
    • 247
    • RETWEETS
    olemarex__AngieA50musudani3cocozMiss_ChessSirJanamWritelJefftheMUSIIME
    OfficeofSteve
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Compliment a pretty girl, she'll think you just want sex. Compliment an ugly girl, she'll think you're lying. Lesson? Compliment a sandwich

    • 74
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzzMangelatoledoTAlma_NoSoulxysistc8kleggtherewillbtacos1234_thumbwarerdincyilmaz7
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    lerialemole_eviltwiniKgbenzzA_MaNuel_256aTract7vikkibrandencourtesyofyaboyclairevgould
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    At this rate, we can expect the 'EBOLA' movie in 2015 directed by Michael Bay, starring Brad Pitt as a Nigerian doctor who saves the world

    • 77
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzzxysistnikhimselfAsk_TylerDurdenAwichPatDoctorWhoRDT__abmkerrwiselar
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    ItsJBillstraussviniKgbenzzJoeyXLVIITheBlackOyibonavrajMickSarfo9KMLNAHR_
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If your girlfriend never comes home complaining about the bitch at work that everyone hates, THEN SHE'S THAT BITCH LOL.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    radtoriaRojjayxysistkasumuni_kevsters__duhirenesconciergeiKgbenzzalbywizzy
    • 196
    • RETWEETS
    olemarex__Lilly_lishbirch_kalawaEmahnueHed04808AliceMiss_Chessbwrca
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    A girl can't even find her bunch of keys in her own handbag, how the hell is she going to find happiness in a man?

    • 64
    • FAVS
    VikkiMarsdeniKgbenzzmo_kemuntoxysistkamasiziagellafnjorwaKipKollinsGreaterKudu1
    • 182
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzjuztjulezswitkareMissMukabiMissFlawsome_SharzzySeanKipKollinsbrian_chano
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'd rather make fun of myself everyday on twitter than pick on someone I don't know who may be going through some real tough shit

    • 59
    • FAVS
    MumakwaAndysolo_ambukuTheKenyanDreamxysistMelvinofYorkkasumuni_KiddyYusufkneenjar
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    MumakwaAndySweetlinxTheKenyanDream_Chake_dennisnyalah1Willie_ngangamokayahNemoGee
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Her: Sorry, but I only like you as a friend
    Me: That's cool, I like you as a Tomato
    Her: But I'm not a Tomato
    Me; See where I'm coming from?

    • 47
    • FAVS
    enkerichputty_cattgeorgeduff2DiveInsideMindssgtpepperfloydiKgbenzzAlma_NoSoul___k_elvin
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    enkerichKa_QlandayAweShadySomeiKgbenzzlawaljalalDavieKarrMboteTucoASAPxDorky
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    LOL some peeps at KBC are showing up at work for the first time since the world cup

    • 25
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzzdennis_kirimiMuriuqihsichshiriCruzStefanQinyanjuionume_Dee_toxx
    • 157
    • RETWEETS
    antitycoonskeItskiamaobadghettoJoJobelle_iKgbenzz_GenghisKthekidDarrylMasterTopShatta
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my boss is a dick, but when people want to find out if he's reached the office they ask, 'is it in yet?'

    • 50
    • FAVS
    hornyjane87riddens_XLCadillacmikecaptain4iKgbenzz_Kuria_CueSanityWildeThingy
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    mulosriddens_XLCadillacAweShadySomemikecaptain4iKgbenzzcbahorizejr_gazz__
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    #MeninistTwitter You can't hate me just cause some OTHER guy hurt you. This isn't candy crush: We don't donate lives to each other

    • 45
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzzxysist_wangwerichardmantoolThisIsJoshSmithAmaBeeeesancheezy_TeufelsKueche
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzZoeLane92LesJadesoladbestsmilesTheMarkKnight_sancheezy_Tintseh_look_oh
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Even Obama produces identification when he goes to vote. Wetangula thinks everyone has a life-size poster of him in their bedrooms

    • 27
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzz_wangwesophymwangihkangangiDontCallMeLivJamesWaititujasonmungaruspnjoroge
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzLola_Portiawezdom_stevejnrsYegonianLazzLo_Aggymodelpistachio88
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    If you don't take the time to tell your GF that she's beautiful, some other guy will. Which is cool, cause you're not a liar LOL

    • 39
    • FAVS
    pravzpsycheHeyKateloniKgbenzzArqamLadakEMkanjaRobinsonGitongaRojjayKenmnu
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    terrificmikedribspeed_The_100110010MsWalchimwetich_SeweOfficialmohamudmohamudJorgekip
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    queenscotSeweOfficialXLCadillaciKgbenzzracHElaygckA_marakittspaTarno__
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    IllictBrewmohamudmohamudXLCadillac_OjowAweShadySomeDrunkbastard69iKgbenzzMonte165
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    Every time I see a prostitute walking home in the morning I salute her cause I know that somewhere, a married man finally had sex

    • 39
    • FAVS
    EdmundMainaiKgbenzzxysist_wangweonume_g_javellaArqamLadakalbywizzy
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    iKgbenzzarnoldaustinedeejayoboshmkevoice_MisterAlbiealbywizzyItsDemorayblitztimo
  • Dee_spicable
      Dee @Dee_spicable

    KBC hasn't had this much attention since that time it broke the news about the scramble for Africa LOL

    • 27
    • FAVS
    iKgbenzz_wangweBrikizalbywizzynikhimselfMaximilusemsykayxysist
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    ItsJBilliKgbenzzenkerichirungu_enochmakoriChocol8FlavourShaddy_EddyMwangiPeris
@Dee_spicable

@Dee_spicable

I avoid kidnapping by being fat ......ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ #YNWA

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