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Sucks when I'm about to have sex & she says, 'Please don't break my heart' & I have to reassure her that my penis will NOT reach that far
#FolderNamesToHidePornOnPc ''IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE''
Why do guys hold grudges against girls who rejected them so long ago? Anyway if you're reading this Mary from primary school, YOU'RE A WHORE
Difference between dry-spell & friend-zone is that you'd rather be in a desert than being in a river with water you can't drink LOL
If your girlfriend never comes home complaining about the bitch at work that everyone hates, THEN SHE'S THAT BITCH LOL.
I'd rather make fun of myself everyday on twitter than pick on someone I don't know who may be going through some real tough shit
Compliment a pretty girl, she'll think you just want sex. Compliment an ugly girl, she'll think you're lying. Lesson? Compliment a sandwich
I'm not saying my boss is a dick, but when people want to find out if he's reached the office they ask, 'is it in yet?'
Every time I see a prostitute walking home in the morning I salute her cause I know that somewhere, a married man finally had sex
KBC hasn't had this much attention since that time it broke the news about the scramble for Africa LOL
I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture.
If you don't take the time to tell your GF that she's beautiful, some other guy will. Which is cool, cause you're not a liar LOL
Why are people complaining about how long it's taking for the cabinet to be named? It's a digital government people, it's called buffering
'' Oil's well that ends well''- Turkana Proverbs, circa 2012 #TurkanaOil
Sex before marriage is a sin. Sex after you're married is a miracle.
Cop: The UoN girl slept with 322 men and gave them AIDS!
Horatio: Looks like she had...
A positive influence.