#FolderNamesToHidePornOnPc ''IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE''

Sucks when I'm about to have sex & she says, 'Please don't break my heart' & I have to reassure her that my penis will NOT reach that far

Why do guys hold grudges against girls who rejected them so long ago? Anyway if you're reading this Mary from primary school, YOU'RE A WHORE

Difference between dry-spell & friend-zone is that you'd rather be in a desert than being in a river with water you can't drink LOL

If your girlfriend never comes home complaining about the bitch at work that everyone hates, THEN SHE'S THAT BITCH LOL.

I'd rather make fun of myself everyday on twitter than pick on someone I don't know who may be going through some real tough shit

Lol. Muite is probably still waiting to be picked up by the Brookhouse school bus #Debate254

I'm not saying my boss is a dick, but when people want to find out if he's reached the office they ask, 'is it in yet?'

Every time I see a prostitute walking home in the morning I salute her cause I know that somewhere, a married man finally had sex

Compliment a pretty girl, she'll think you just want sex. Compliment an ugly girl, she'll think you're lying. Lesson? Compliment a sandwich

'' Oil's well that ends well''- Turkana Proverbs, circa 2012 #TurkanaOil

Why are people complaining about how long it's taking for the cabinet to be named? It's a digital government people, it's called buffering

Cop: The UoN girl slept with 322 men and gave them AIDS!
Horatio: Looks like she had...
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
A positive influence.
YEAAHHH!

Some people will do anything to jump the queue RT @citizentvnews: A woman delivers a baby at Muthurwa Polling station, names baby Amani...

I don't see what Ongeri is so upset about. Honestly it's Pigs that should be offended that they are being used to describe MP's.

Weddings are so expensive because the cost of making two people unhappy for life have risen dramatically.

Wait, Nairobi has been ranked the 2nd worst city to live in globally? This sucks. We never get 1st place in anything

If you don't take the time to tell your GF that she's beautiful, some other guy will. Which is cool, cause you're not a liar LOL

Hurricane Sandy has caused millions of Americans to be without electricity. Kenya Power must be so jealous, that's THEIR JOB.

Hating someone on the internet who you've never met makes about as much sense as peeing in the ocean to make it less salty.