“@nickyjphoto: Lindsay Lohan on the cover of @eventmaguk, with a fab interview by @piersmorgan pic.twitter.com/t9109nGUce” Her soul looks dead!

Don't forget, I'm a ninja bitches!!

Are you kidding me?!? This mom named her daughter Camarie because she LOVES calamari!! Camarie, calamarie... Wow!! #toddlersandtiaras

Harley roll! http://t.co/qzeCvpNY

I don't want to shower! Wahhhhhh!!! This will be two in two days, who the hell am I??

I could never work in a bridal salon... I would just crack one day, punch a few people in the face, rip a few dresses & cry. #crazybitches

Watching Million Dollar Rooms on @hgtv so I can have another reason to continue drinking away this day!! #milliondollarrooms

Ok so I took some time out of my busy schedule of making sandwiches and read @humorformens twitter. Entertaining for a minute, one minute.

@asianotherwhite Sara Williams now has a twitter... @shortboatrides

Asians have freckles on assholes. "@robdelaney: Beautiful full moon tonight. Any Asian girls w/ freckles wanna get their yum-yum licked?”

“@robdelaney: I enjoy telling jokes to people.” yet no one else does.

Oh yea! I saw a shooting star and I wished for lunch with @asianotherwhite tomorrow or Friday!!! Fingers crossed!

Last day of work at @pubpolaris! No more dressing like a sexy school girl... At least for work!! Cheers!

Happy birthday @asianotherwhite! This is the closest i could get!! http://t.co/MH4J2PO

Does Chen meeting = a get together with an Asian or multiple Asians?!? @ohiobeernomad

I'm 25 & I learn from the best! “@dianatsen: As a woman in my 30's ~I always have a bottle of Kettle One in the freezer & fresh batteries.”

My friend @ohiobeernomad is hosting an amazing Goose Island dinner at the @pubpolaris next Thursday! But tix from me for $40! Cheers!

@dianatsen and I are going hunting for gingers tonight! Ginger gonna die mother f**ker!

"@dianatsen: Asian Festival this weekend...this means lock up your dog and cats white people. You have been warned." Muuuaaaagggghhhhh!!

If you are in the chinese restaurant business & need meat, I can get you cats @ a reasonable price. Bonus: cats = size of cows! @dianatsen