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My resolution for 2012 is to get more attention and sympathy by putting on a limp.
It pains me to think of how boring the dinner table would be if I was never born.
Hate people who say they love The Beatles when they've only ever heard Thriller and Billie Jean.
I'm glad I don't have ask.fm. That "How good is your eyesight?" question would reduce me to tears.
I think people need to realise that their school year isn't the bad thing, it's the human race that's awful.
If any extremely hot girls (I'm talking like serious 10/10s) would like to text me, that'd be appreciated.
Yes! My dad's going to drop my sister off at dancing. Time to snort coke off a hooker's tits.
I hate when people post popular opinions and tell others to retweet if they agree.
When you look at the photos of the people whose lives have been destroyed in a second, the idiots on Twitter just sink into insignificance.
Political and moral arguments can sometimes seem weak when they're tweeted by topless boys.
Backing dancer for JLS or One Direction and I play for whoever your favourite football team is.
