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  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were fucked before you got there.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    jaggedapelightcrosser69writingwrongzONECTGIRLsighofaninjaFlyJ_GavsonNZGloGurL
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    lightcrosser69ONECTGIRLEdgarKevinCarter_TCBFlyJ_Slave_4_USpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGo
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Why is the media so negative? Instead of "Polar Bear Kills Alaskan Teen", why not "Alaskan Teen Feeds Starving Polar Bear"?

    • 20
    • FAVS
    writingwrongzCarter_TCBjemcro22FlyJ_HotMildHoeianktravisRK910oxen_freee
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    jemcro22FlyJ_IamEveryDayPplOLLAVERImsohoppyewill529nirvy2084
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Shaving is like punishment for something you didn't know you did.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    FlyJ_GloGurLSlave_4_USpearmintBullmcibtybadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00SnarkyBears
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_Slave_4_Ubadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00Imsohoppyb4sageOld_Enki
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Wow with all these breakfast choices I guess I choose beer.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSlave_4_Ubadpatrick1mcibtySpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoCarter_TCB
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Slave_4_USpearmintBullbadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoImsohoppynaggalieMouthyMess
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    It's official I have raised dumbasses, who wants one?

    • 17
    • FAVS
    lantenengoFlyJ_GavsonNZGloGurLSlave_4_UKKennedaSpaced_Cowboy00LinajkReturns
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_Slave_4_UKKennedaSpaced_Cowboy00Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I take everything out of context. But somehow I am confused by boxed wine.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    FlyJ_HotMildHoeIamEveryDayPplDishy2101naggalieGingerVonPaigeGavsonNZImsohoppy
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_IamEveryDayPplGavsonNZImsohoppyewill529clevinniej
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    My memory must be failing. I just wanted to tweet something, got caught up reading tweets. And now I don't know what I was going to tweet.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    FlyJ_GavsonNZGloGurLSpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoImsohoppygirlontapasnaggalie
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_hiteshthetigerSpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGogirlontapasAvatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I only watch women's tennis for the nipple erections and the skimpy outfits. Don't judge me.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSpaced_Cowboy00katehurley4Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1__FuckabillyRex
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1__
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Manual retweets: Because YOU suck at twitter.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    Dwim74bklynmike3KaineallenEden_EatsWhiteMaleGingerVonPaigeImsohoppyLinajkReturns
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Dwim74KaineallenGingerVonPaige
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    My comidic prowess extends as far as, "that's what she said" jokes.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    HotMildHoeIamEveryDayPplMythicalCrystalIntentDreamingpunkabilly72GingerVonPaigeDishy2101cdrodolph
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    IamEveryDayPplMythicalCrystalGingerVonPaige
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I always star a tweet or 2 before I follow. So the bitch knows I'm serious.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    HotMildHoeIamEveryDayPplIzzyIlluminatesnaggalielouisxnelsonMouthyMessFyNghalonLinajkReturns
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    IamEveryDayPplnaggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    "Why do I always tweet stupid shit?" - Everyone on Twitter, probably.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGelasticGoGoMakesYouGiggleCarter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1__kissmefreedom
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I joined favstar and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    HotMildHoeIamEveryDayPplMythicalCrystalpersinger7769LinajkReturnscdrodolphLePetitOiseau_L
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    IamEveryDayPpl
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Extinct religions are called myths. Active myths are called religions.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    MythicalCrystallouisxnelsonimgettinghealthIntentDreamingGavsonNZLinajkReturns
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    andreektMythicalCrystal
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Why do women always want it harder and faster? Is the vagina not a delicate flower?

    • 7
    • FAVS
    IzzyIlluminatesnaggalieGingerVonPaigeMouthyMessGloGurLLinajkReturnsLePetitOiseau_L
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    naggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I think I "overshave" some parts because I can't see them very well.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    IzzyIlluminatesnaggalieGingerVonPaigeMouthyMessGloGurLLinajkReturnscdrodolph
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    naggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I just went to FB, this what is going on:
    Craving Strawberry Pop Tarts.
    Child got contacts.
    Lets GO PATRIOTS!
    So it still fucking sucks.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBLinajkReturnsImsohoppyfilthybeggar1__tvandjam
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyfilthybeggar1__
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    So is it still a party foul for me to star my own tweets?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppygirlontapastheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaige
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I have a follower that has a triple digit followers count and her tweets don't do much better than mine. So at least I have that.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    HotMildHoeIamEveryDayPplDishy2101naggalieGingerVonPaigekissmefreedom
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    IamEveryDayPpl
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    WOW! Twitter has cured my Internet Porn Addiction!

    • 6
    • FAVS
    naggalieImsohoppyDerick549FyNghalonc_wishonGavsonNZ
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
@Derick549

@Derick549

Music Lover/ EX-Underwear model (In my mind). Professional Procrastinating Introvert. I say Fuck a lot.

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