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  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were fucked before you got there.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoLinajkReturnsgidelkolyalouisjewellgirlontapasnativeminnownaggaliekissmefreedom
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGoHugeAndroidgirlontapasnaggaliekee_sieImsohoppybrendon_bhMouthyMess
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Shaving is like punishment for something you didn't know you did.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    SnarkyBearsnaggaliekissmefreedomxtart_bad2thebownsnancyhoffnerjamilskie1Imsohoppy
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyb4sageOld_Enki
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Wow with all these breakfast choices I guess I choose beer.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBImsohoppySnarkyBearstheDanLawlernaggalieImaFlyontheWallESchlaXO
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGoImsohoppynaggalieMouthyMess
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I only watch women's tennis for the nipple erections and the skimpy outfits. Don't judge me.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    katehurley4Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1FuckabillyRexnaggaliegirlontapas_Lou_ise_
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    My memory must be failing. I just wanted to tweet something, got caught up reading tweets. And now I don't know what I was going to tweet.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoImsohoppygirlontapasnaggaliekissmefreedomCarter_TCBAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGogirlontapasAvatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    It's official I have raised dumbasses, who wants one?

    • 9
    • FAVS
    LinajkReturnsImsohoppyJohnnyCrash5girlontapastheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaigeiMikosnyc
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    "Why do I always tweet stupid shit?" - Everyone on Twitter, probably.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoMakesYouGiggleCarter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1kissmefreedom
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I just went to FB, this what is going on:
    Craving Strawberry Pop Tarts.
    Child got contacts.
    Lets GO PATRIOTS!
    So it still fucking sucks.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBLinajkReturnsImsohoppyfilthybeggar1tvandjam
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyfilthybeggar1
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    So is it still a party foul for me to star my own tweets?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppygirlontapastheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaige
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I could definitely rule Nicaragua.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCByazeuaxImsohoppyfilthybeggar1
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyfilthybeggar1Avatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    FUCK YOU HICCUPS! AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppynaggalietheDanLawler75Susann
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ImsohoppyAvatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Drinking beer and star fucking ya know...... cause that's how I roll.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    naggalieCarter_TCBlouisxnelsonImsohoppyMouthyMess
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Star this tweet if you don't like subliminal tweets telling you to star shit.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppytheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaige
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Preparation-H, for all the burning questions. --- Ad slogan, probably

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBpromeliordiesImsohoppygirlontapas
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    PRO TIP: If you have or want long hair, be advised you will find your hair everywhere and by everywhere I mean EVERYWHERE!

    • 5
    • FAVS
    SnarkyBearsnaggalieCarter_TCBKmPensingerImsohoppy
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I don't know what your problem is, but I'm sure it is difficult to pronounce.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    LinajkReturnsMakesYouGiggleCarter_TCBFuckinKillMe
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Carter_TCB
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Who wants to see a picture of my Margarita and Tacos? Guys?

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppySnarkyBearsnaggalie
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Sorry for that last tweet, I don't normally do the hashtag thing. Carry on.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppynaggalietheDanLawler
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I'm about to OWN this mother fucking roll of SHOCKTARTS.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppynaggaliekissmefreedom
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I wish I could star your bio.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppyM3lissaMcDonald
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
@Derick549

@Derick549

Music Lover/ EX-Underwear model (In my mind). Professional Procrastinating Introvert. I say Fuck a lot.