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  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you were fucked before you got there.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLathenasladSlave_4_UmcibtySpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoLinajkReturns
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Slave_4_USpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoHugeAndroidgirlontapasnaggaliekee_sieImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Wow with all these breakfast choices I guess I choose beer.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSlave_4_Ubadpatrick1mcibtySpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoCarter_TCB
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    Slave_4_USpearmintBullbadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoImsohoppynaggalieMouthyMess
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Shaving is like punishment for something you didn't know you did.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    GloGurLSlave_4_USpearmintBullmcibtybadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00SnarkyBearsnaggalie
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Slave_4_Ubadpatrick1Spaced_Cowboy00Imsohoppyb4sageOld_Enki
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    It's official I have raised dumbasses, who wants one?

    • 14
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSlave_4_UKKennedaSpaced_Cowboy00LinajkReturnsImsohoppyJohnnyCrash5
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Slave_4_UKKennedaSpaced_Cowboy00Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    My memory must be failing. I just wanted to tweet something, got caught up reading tweets. And now I don't know what I was going to tweet.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGoImsohoppygirlontapasnaggaliekissmefreedom
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    hiteshthetigerSpaced_Cowboy00GelasticGoGogirlontapasAvatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Why is the media so negative? Instead of "Polar Bear Kills Alaskan Teen", why not "Alaskan Teen Feeds Starving Polar Bear"?

    • 11
    • FAVS
    GloGurLOLLAVERjustmegirlRRImsohoppynirvy2084LtdEdShelbyFyNghalonMrsPotato
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    OLLAVERImsohoppyewill529nirvy2084
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I only watch women's tennis for the nipple erections and the skimpy outfits. Don't judge me.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGloGurLSpaced_Cowboy00katehurley4Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1FuckabillyRex
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00Carter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I take everything out of context. But somehow I am confused by boxed wine.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    naggalieGingerVonPaigeGavsonNZImsohoppyewill529CazziemoclevinniejLinajkReturns
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GavsonNZImsohoppyewill529clevinniej
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    "Why do I always tweet stupid shit?" - Everyone on Twitter, probably.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    GavsonNZGelasticGoGoMakesYouGiggleCarter_TCBImsohoppyfilthybeggar1kissmefreedom
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Manual retweets: Because YOU suck at twitter.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    KaineallenEden_EatsWhiteMaleGingerVonPaigeImsohoppyLinajkReturnsmsbettyblack
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    KaineallenGingerVonPaige
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Why do women always want it harder and faster? Is the vagina not a delicate flower?

    • 7
    • FAVS
    IzzyIlluminatesnaggalieGingerVonPaigeMouthyMessGloGurLLinajkReturnsLePetitOiseau_L
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    naggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I think I "overshave" some parts because I can't see them very well.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    IzzyIlluminatesnaggalieGingerVonPaigeMouthyMessGloGurLLinajkReturnscdrodolph
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    naggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I just went to FB, this what is going on:
    Craving Strawberry Pop Tarts.
    Child got contacts.
    Lets GO PATRIOTS!
    So it still fucking sucks.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    GelasticGoGoCarter_TCBLinajkReturnsImsohoppyfilthybeggar1tvandjam
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyfilthybeggar1
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    So is it still a party foul for me to star my own tweets?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppygirlontapastheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaige
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppygirlontapas
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I always star a tweet or 2 before I follow. So the bitch knows I'm serious.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    IzzyIlluminatesnaggalielouisxnelsonMouthyMessFyNghalonLinajkReturns
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    naggalie
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    WOW! Twitter has cured my Internet Porn Addiction!

    • 6
    • FAVS
    naggalieImsohoppyDerick549FyNghalonc_wishonGavsonNZ
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    I could definitely rule Nicaragua.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCByazeuaxImsohoppyfilthybeggar1
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Imsohoppyfilthybeggar1Avatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    FUCK YOU HICCUPS! AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR!

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppynaggalietheDanLawler75Susann
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ImsohoppyAvatar_unknown_48
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Drinking beer and star fucking ya know...... cause that's how I roll.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    naggalieCarter_TCBlouisxnelsonImsohoppyMouthyMess
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppy
  • Derick549
      Derick @Derick549

    Star this tweet if you don't like subliminal tweets telling you to star shit.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Carter_TCBImsohoppytheDanLawlernaggalieGingerVonPaige
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Imsohoppy
@Derick549

@Derick549

Music Lover/ EX-Underwear model (In my mind). Professional Procrastinating Introvert. I say Fuck a lot.

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