If you detest my personality but invite me to parties to fulfill your "attractive men" quota, fuck you & I'd be more than honored to attend.

Unlearned chicks stay quoting obscure Marilyn Monroe passages, like the bitch was Socrates.

Again with the bullshit crayon colors, IHOP.

Can't tell which is worse; the dumb shit ppl concern themselves with or the fact that I've made it a point to concern myself with those ppl.

Stay out of other people's business.

Look at Kobe. Visualize a 35-year age advancement. Then, look at Paul Mooney. Exactly.

@dreamhampton As a Blood, I imagine he'd be thoroughly disgusted by your inclusion of the letter "c" in his name.

Just asked my mother to cremate my body when I die, then ground the ashes w/ gun powder, and shoot me at all my living enemies. She laughed.

Fuck smart people (literally, of course).

“@talking_teddy: Imagine if vagina tasted like Bacon?!” // Muslims'd be forced to rim.

Just googled "Stevie," and "J" came up before "Wonder," and now I hate the entire world and everything in it.

Rather than having to defend his crying during the Whitney Houston tribute, Soulja Boy SHOULD be asked to explain his dirty-ass fingernails.

I can tell from the lousy satellite signal that there aren't enough White people in this neighborhood.

My name backwards spells "no red;" meaning, I probably would've made an excellent crip, had I chosen that lifestyle.

At my core, I'm a good guy. But on the surface, I'm the dude that introduces your children to obscene hand gestures when you're not looking.

Do perverts who fly alone and beat-off in airplane bathrooms, still qualify for Mile High Club membership?

Lil Wayne is to crooning what Rosie O'Donnell is to a negligee.

Question for gay White dudes who like gangster rap: How difficult is it finding another gay White dude who likes gangster rap?

Topps > Fleer > Donruss.

Shout out to resilient vagina.