Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Well fuck me running, I finally got a fucking star. Now I see how you have to fucking talk around this fucking place to get a fucking star.
Leaving the restroom the guy next to me said his mom taught him to wash his hands when done. I said mom taught us not to pee on our hands.
I think I pulled a groin muscle trying to flush the toilet with my foot.
Have you ever wanted to punch somebody in the face so hard that their ears clap??
I haven't received a single star today! FUCK YOU!
I only tweet at work because it makes me feel better knowing I'm getting paid to do this. Kinda like having sex. Wait..what?
How come you can pee without pooping, but you can't poop without peeing? #askingforafriend
Twitter. A place where you can crack open your skull and pour out your nasty, delusional thoughts, and find out who your cell mate will be.
I bet if you hit the Pope's thumb with a hammer he would cuss.#stupidideas
The peace and enjoyment I find while hunting is like fucking my ex with duct tape on her mouth.
Got sentimental and changed my avi. Just to remember all the troops that won't make it home for Christmas. God bless our troops!!!
I had "suck, not blow" tattooed in Braille on my dick so my blind date would know what to do.
Bored as a homosexual in a pussy factory. #myday
My ex had a secret job at the golf course as a ball and shaft washer..
One rule I'd like to see implemented in football. You can have all the hair you want as long as its not visible outside of helmet. #thugs
Ladies, that spot on your inner thigh next to your hooha? Me likey. #teenagetalk
Go ask Alice when she's 10 feet tall...
Trying to guess what twitter would have been like in the sixties. Whoa!!
#Igosodeep when doing anal with my girl I play her backbone like a xylophone.
My old lady suspects something. I accidentally called her by name instead of bitch.