Chuck Norris is just an actor! I'm not scared of him! If he's that good he'd be here already, slap my face against the keyboarghkwbhr vWujhw

Little girl knocked on my door this morning, asked 4 a donation for her school's swimming pool.She got so upset when I gave her cup of water

I found my inner bitch and ran with her. ~ Courtney Love

RT @brandonlorenzo: Please retweet, in loving memory of our friend, sister & daughter. RIP @tegzashley #RIPTegz ♥

LOL RT @travesty_kruger: If you missed the Extreme Fighting Championship last week, don't worry. Lusito Land has started. Fights daily, waho

RT: @nick_frost: I can't believe Chuck Norris died this morning. Glad he's fine now.

Once, Chuck Norris had phone sex, it took blackberry 3 days to cum online

Why Do Women Wear Panties? Because its the law, The Health & Safety at Work Act 1974 states 'All Manholes Must Be Covered When Not In Use !!

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~Robin Williams

She's more confused than a blind lesbian at a fish market.

http://t.co/jqaZcPE8

RT @andrewcrawford: So I saw a butterfly with no wings today, I poured some RedBull on it and BAM... It drowned...

@aandklas_pta @braaiboy goodies 4 gals 2 hypnotise the male species @ilovewonderbra @aquaticcharne @lexamantis http://plixi.com/p/92737993

Exactly! pic.twitter.com/39OKxEW8

I wish soccer was like the first rule of Fight Club

There must be a support group for this pic.twitter.com/2ZiEVHbO

http://t.co/hKqn4S6Y

Cop pulls over stoned driver… http://t.co/yfCnyRHs

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

This is not a rant. This is a statement. I'm not on Twitter to stroke any fantasies. There are dating sites or support groups for you.