@DieLaughing's (J. Adam Moore) most faved Tweets...
I saw a car hit this parked car in front of me and drive away, so I put a note on the parked car saying 'God hates you.'
Okay, the movie is starting and everyone is screaming at some asshole using a bright iPhone. I will let you know when I find out who it is.
I accidentally hit a bunch of kids dressed as zombies with my car. The second time was just to be safe.
Now the Supreme Court has ruled that corporations are legally a person with rights, there are a lot of rape charges I'm filing against them.
I wonder how many 'suicide bombers' were just uncontrollably accelerating toward an Iraqi checkpoint in a Toyota.
I won't be convinced Obama was born an American until he rapes an Indian, kills a foreigner, and gains like 150 lbs over a healthy weight.
I haven't decided on a baby name, but I do know that it will be at least 8 characters long with at least 2 numbers and 1 special character.
I have a reoccurring nightmare that I am startled by bank robbers who shout "EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" and I get shot in the face for dancing.
My pregnant girlfriend asked me if I wanted to see something no one would believe. I say yes and then she punches herself right in the eye.
My girl said to get our place ready for the baby so now the whole place is covered in shredded newspaper. Am I supposed to do anything else?
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