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@DieLaughing's (J. Adam Moore) recent favourites. See who @DieLaughing favs the most...
OH: "If I had to date myself, I'd put a gun in my mouth."
@ev
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couchtnsltwnDieLaughingbenmarvinTheBoshaSkittle_Brainsmontoyanwindy_bdspelchecchris24AmyPhetamineMagnusonjennathatdrewFixItFish
At a call, a guy comes and shakes my hand, all smiles. "Remember me?" "Not really". "You totally arrested me last year!"
1
DieLaughing
When all you are is hammered, every problem looks nailed.
The keyboard on the laptop I bought at Church & Market last night has the o p r n keys worn off. Guess it belonged to a Ron Paul fan.
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tammyphinneytwilaritypotjieDieLaughingcalifmommichaelnugentesslZappyBoxRabidBobjosephschmittscottsimpson
I also like how they watermark their screenshots. Because, they wouldn't want anybody stealing them.
3
DieLaughingkishbaskid
The date proceeds towards the inevitable conclusion of any successful date. Until he realizes something. I can't imagine you naked, he says.
11
annakippsbrokenlifeRolandSlingerdavio1962DieLaughingLorrax710thedutysweenblondediva11natebishopdamselesque
Location-based services aren't as fun to use when your check-in spots are "diaper table," "grocery store" and "walk around neighborhood."
1
DieLaughing
But, I surely, SURELY, don't give a damn or want to hear about your ridiculous clinging to barbaric superstitions.
1
DieLaughing
If the Mayans were part of this board meeting they would have reconsidered the end of their calendar.
4
ChiNurseDieLaughingsandwichpolicelagonk
@abigvictory JANE, you ignorant slut.
@tj in reply to abigvictory
2
potjieDieLaughing
If they could just put a stripper pole and a bar right inside the confessional, it'd really save me a lot of time.
The police would like to speak with you.
5
sweenpiercedbratDieLaughingMsInformationyodelmachine
I'm getting tired of the hetero grind.
I think I need a gaycation.
If you think getting your period is worse than being hit in the nuts, just imagine it happening every MONTH.

What?

Really?

Huh.
Often when I come up with something funny at night I think "Nah, shouldn't waste it" and then I get in bed and stroke my webcock some more.
11
kiwitwit1gestevesnevenmrganlonelysandwichwillwjacknageldwinemanDieLaughingswgssweenalsoyourmom
LACES ARE JUST CRAVATS FOR SHOES! SNEAKERS ARE NOTHING BUT DOUCHY LITTLE FOPS! THIS ENRAGES ME! *beats at own head until weary*
......F....F............................
1
DieLaughing
@DieLaughing Yeah...that's not gonna happen.
@itsjustEm in reply to DieLaughing
1
DieLaughing
dude in a utilikilt just passed me on the "up" escalator DO NOT LOOK UP REPEAT DO NOT LOOK UP
1
DieLaughing
She beefs up her knowledge of sports. And takes pole dancing lessons. But he's not pleased. I need completion not competition, he tells her.
13
ChiNurseDieLaughingawryoneCosaMostrobrokenlifeMsVitchdavio1962MrBigFistsendogeekjasonmustianripslichrongillmoredestiniya
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