@DieLaughing's (J. Adam Moore) recently faved Tweets...
My favorite feature of the iPhone is the physical switch that lets you accidentally miss all your important calls all day.
16
In addition to pulling my pants down to my ankles to pee at the urinal in the Men's bathroom, I now also make jazz hands.
I am offended that you think being offended is self-important and futile and we'll leave it at that.
4
They should make a drug that helps you overcome the regret of having to resort to drugs to solve your problems.
Remember Mr. Mom with Michael Keaton? That's me now. I never thought I'd grow up to be Batman in a lighthearted comedy about children.
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I remember what happened the last time I went to SXSW and I am not going back to this: http://bit.ly/axrIVs
1
#SXSW is the Burning Man of self-promotion. It's the Lollapalooza of First World time-wasters. The Woodstock of consumerism.
10
Thanks to Apple I can use my WiFi while I talk on the phone, and thanks to AT&T I can't receive any calls while signed up with Google Voice.
5
All I need now to win my celebrity death bingo is Lindsey Lohan and Abe Vigoda or the Jonas Brothers and Betty White.
Baby is with @sb at grandma's near Sacramento. I'm suffering withdrawls. I think I'm going to paint the whole house blue. Baby blue.
5
Okay, the safety phrase is "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Now take your socks off. You won't need those.
The economy in Greece is so bad that, to increase traffic, merchants have offered their back doors as a second optional entrance.
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