Your OneTech password has to contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, and a protagonist with some character development and a twist end.

Is mayonnaise an instrument? RT if you read that in Patrick's voice.

The only upside to having gauged ears is when they get big enough, you can fit your rolled up unemployment check in it. (Not original)

Arkansas O + LSU D = greatest college football team.

#TipsforFreshman I don't want the film crew for 16 and Pregnant at our school. Think before you act.

Tony Romo hasn't thrown an interception yet today!! I know his game doesn't start til 3 pm but it's still impressive.

S/O to the kids who wrote the correct answers in the text books for us.

Cussing in every single tweet makes you look like you don't have any intelligence whatsoever.

I'm glad I got to be a kid before facebook and twitter.

God bless the all of the heroes and innocent people lost on 9-11 and in combat to defend our freedom. You are all missed. #neverforget

You go from Happy Happy Happy to Crabby Crabby Crabby. #DuckDynasty

Draw Something isn't fun anymore..

Proud of the Lady Billies making it to the 5A state semifinals!! #BillieNation

I'm glad my school has such great school spirit. #BillieNation

If you love God it takes more than retweeting something to prove it.

http://t.co/0GnWEbBf

In a relationship = off limits no matter their situation #BroCode

2011 Colts without Peyton Manning = 2012 Razorbacks without Bobby Petrino

Homosexuality is wrong.

I'm sure all my followers celebrating #CincoDeMayo are celebrating Mexico's defeat of the French army at the Battle of Pueblo..