@DinOpinions' (Dino) most faved Tweets...
Im startin a bank for married adulterers to hide their money in event their spouse wants a divorce. Im gonna call it inFidelity Investments.
Oops I planned my friend's intervention 4 the same day as his bday.Hope he enjoys a clown & stripper lecturing about the dangers of alcohol.
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Im pretty sure my 3rd grade teacher was a communist, she used to say I couldnt chew gum in class unless I brought enough for everyone.
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Verne Troyer has been verbally abusive 2 his ex. It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong so dont expect Verne to apologize anytime soon.
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I was asked if I had seen 'Zombieland,' & originally said yes & then later found out the name of the TV show is actually called 60 minutes.
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"Go left past the bush to back door" just realized the delivery directions i gave Domino's are so profound & double as anal sex directions.
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The police officer told me it's a drug sniffing dog. Maybe I'm crazy, but that dog should be in rehab instead of working with the police.
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I applied to be on the TV show MADE but wound up incredibly disappointed when I found out they couldnt help me elevate my rank in the mafia.
5
If I play my cards right, I might get laid tonight..because I frequently play in poker games where vagina is wagered.
4
Every time I hear a jewish person exclaim 'oh..jesus!!,' i turn around quickly bc i think Jesus has returned for revenge.
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I like to party like 'it's my birthday' -- naked & crying in a hospital room with my mom & a doctor.
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Whenever i'm out of alcohol at 3am, I ask myself 'What Would Jesus Do' & then grow incredibly frustrated when I cant turn water into wine.
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Do not 'FREE YOUR MIND,' it will become lazy, refuse to do much work & start demanding reparations.
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You took the words right out of my mouth, the numbers out of my nose & the punctuation marks out of my ears.
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The unprotected sex I have is a lot like my Google searches: random, quick, & with a misguided 'im feelin lucky' belief about the results.
3
I passed by a homeless person today & he asked me for change but I'm not quite sure why since I don't look like Barack Obama or anything.
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By the lack of action in the movie, i wouldnt have objected if they called it Paraplegic Activity.
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