need 9 followers to make 100, if your dyslexic i need 6 followers to reach 001

dear Karma, i have a list of people you missed

i saw they lifted the ban on horsemeat in the supermarket....finally i can shop there in person

i sneak dead fish into sea world so i dont have to pay to feed the kardashians

i imagine jack the ripper had bad gas

emo porn is such a downer

sticks and stones may break my bones but me making you bite a curb will hurt worse

"you sank my battleship" - what i say when someone hurts my feelings

making your bed everyday would suck, so much wood, nails and shit

my mom is going to ask me how much pie i want on christmas for desert....my reply will likely be "3.14 pieces"

I think that Vin Diesel would have been better than Tom Cruise in Cast Away

Bob Costas sure avoided the tough questions last night....how about "Jerry, why did you put your penis in little boys?"

3 people from 200 , 3 inches from regulation size

We should not have killed osama yet, he still had allah of explaining to do!

i really need one of my favorite people with a ton of pull and followers to hype this shit up to get to get me up to 200

By the way, holy water is just recycled baptism water

every morning i have to look at the trend topic rise and grind......no i wont

ok we get it etrade, smart kids invest

before i leave for the weekend, anyone up for some zimas and a game of yard darts?

Debbie Downer would be a good name for an emo porn vid