Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I'm not wearing underwear in church. And I'm tweeting. I'm tweeting about not wearing underwear in church. Holy shit. It's like I SEE hell.
I am woman. Hear me talk. And talk. And talk. And talk.
Every time I see a preview for Hoarders, I grab the closest thing to me and immediately throw it away.
I hate when I have sex and then I accidentally have three kids and then I can't hear anything because EVERYONE IS FUCKING YELLING!
I get tons of stars!!!
From the same, like, 13 people.
But still. Lots.
My evolution of twitter has been "Oh you have to get a twitter and follow me!" to completely avoiding eye contact when someone mentions it.
I'm still not sure where we stand, Pluto is or is not considered a real dog?
If you don’t mumble “fuck off” to your children under your breath for the first two hours every morning, then tell me your secrets, wizard.
I just pushed a beautiful baby girl out of my vagina. Nice try, girls complaining about their periods.
Facebook: where we complain.
Google+: where we go to be alone.
Twitter: where we go to be inappropriately amazing.
RT'ing without starring is like saying "here look at this, I don't like it but fuck it, maybe you will."
Ok teeny, tiny, shitty little smart car, one day I'm not gonna stop when I rip into that parking spot thinking it's empty. Shifty bastard.
Ok, guys serious tweet here: RIP to the box of fruit roll ups I just opened and murdered with my face.
Hey, people without kids, I have a message for you when you wake up in like 5 hours, "fuck you."
That is all.
As an adult, I'm most afraid when my children's toys randomly make noise and nobody is in their rooms....
I would never attend a tweetup. I know from your tweets that like 98% of you would be hiding in the shadows touching yourselves.
INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING.
My son is seriously such a sweet heart. He's going to make a great husband some day when he's 30 and I let him start dating.
The RT button. Because sometimes other people just say it perfectly.
I hate when I have sex and then I accidentally have three kids and then I can't hear anything because EVERYONE IS FUCKING YELLING!!
Like @Discourt’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!