May I age as gracefully as patrick stewart, have the wit of @brentspiner & the smooth cool of @levarburton #bucketlist

I'm counting on @anthonyjeselnik to let me know when it's clear to make gun jokes again

if it wanted, the Achilles has a way of shutting that whole tearing thing down @robfee

“@deemagicgurl: Wondering whether or not all the adverbs I use are really actually completely totally necessary? -- if not ur in de Nile

I'm not thrilled w/ how much seriously useless info I know & my brain regurgitates, like old commercials for companies that no longer exist

dude, how cool would it be to see @owlcity with @cagedheat @deemagicgurl and her man @hobanaheim fo free

The only 2 people I really want to go 2 #TraderSams with, sans my wife, is @deemagicgurl & @boy33

I was expecting the reply "to defeat the Huns"

I am very grateful for those signs in restaurants saying "employees must wash hands" #ItReallyGivesMePeaceOfMind

@ladygaga is giving her all in this performance, wow!! #iheartradio

@just_tony @tonyk25 @porters does that make ferris the personification of the Id within us all, and we're all dead inside

@tonyk25 brilliant!

Dear China: stop buying ivory, this is ur final warning

@theseanbrewster soon enough Pizza Hut will come in this #HydrateLevel4 pic.twitter.com/czudm5VeaZ

“@pihauctions: Retweet our tweets and in return we will follow you. Sounds simple? Do it!-- I would but ur tweets stink & ur betta than that

Alert: I just heard on @npr that #China has built a security monitoring system called #Skynet. Some1 ship the terminator DVDs to them NOW!

@theinsanerobin #StarTrek gotta be a tie between mirror Ben Sisko and mirror Spock

I can't wait to try the Heisenbergs @quesadacigars and yeah, I'll smoke them while watching @breakingbad

A politician will convince me they are serious about the country when instead of wearing a flag pin, they have a face tattoo of the flag

Kinda sad that David Koch prostate cancer is under control. Need more of him like Jeff Buckley needed heavier boots