Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Never say "is that a midget?" in front of a midget. They're tiny because they're tiny, NOT because they're far away. Remember that
Okay, vegetarian, eat this chicken or I kill another chicken...
If you end every tweet with "#teamfollowback" there's a 94% chance that I'll attack you. And it will be violent. Very violent.
With a bit of luck I'll find someone who hates people as much as I do before I die, and we'll go get a house and hate people together.
Thanks to Alanis Morissette, every fucker now thinks a coincidence is ironic. Thanks a bunch, prick stain.
Oh I do love those days where following someone seems to be a life changing decision and thus requires great consideration and rumination
I now pronounce you, fucking stupid.
"I love Justin Bieber" is Spanish for "run me over".
I'm guessing I'll get shit from the PC police for a Spotify playlist named 'Black People' in my defence, its better than calling it 'rap'
"I promise you, once I enter an exclusive relationship, I sleep with very few people"
I'm going to stay away from other peoples favstar profiles. They all have so much more than me. It's depressing being in the land of 3 stars
Spelling is important, kids. Just one letter can change the meaning of an entire sentence: "I've got morning wood", "I've got mourning wood"
I feel a RT coming on! Ohh no, it's just gas.
Drink responsibly? Oh, sweetie, you're cute.
Unleash your tweets! Free them! Throw them back into the wild!
I trust Microsoft as far as I could comfortably spit a dead rat
No scissoring in the hallway.
No, Dave. Sticking a dildo on a horse's head definitely does NOT make it a unicorn.
Staying awake is no fun. And it's shit. And gay. And useless. Fuck you all. Goodnight.
I hate you all. Well, you're all right. Oh, and you. I suppose you'll do as well. Fuck the rest of you though!
I drink and RT. Don't do those drugs, they're mine. Disclaimer: I'm not funny, I'm a terrible person, and I will disappoint you.