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@Dolanite's most faved Tweets...
Dolanite
You should just let your Honor Student drive, cause clearly you're an idiot.
@Dolanite
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Dolanite
Got a State Farm Auto Accident Kit from my agent it comes with a whistle and a glow stick, you know for emergency raves.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Wow, so Clinton just got two women off at once?
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Ladies, can we please all agree to quit having sex with losers? Their expectations have gotten way too high.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Nascar teamed up with Visa? I thought Nascar fans' main currency was cigarettes and their sisters.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Eh, Cheney'll be fine he's over 65 and has Medicare. Also, you can't kill the undead.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Bubonic Plague had almost nothing to do with boobs. #fact.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Do men find it emasculating when women stop for them in the cross walk? That guy sure did. Look, I only yelled nice ass because it was true.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Putting my foot down, or up someones ass. These are the choices for today.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
"What's happening?" When did Twitter turn from polite stalker, to the sleaze who seemingly intends to date rape you in his van out back.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
This guy was talking about his "Man Cave" and I was like dude I have one too, it's called a vagina no need to be embarrassed about yours.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Standing on the corner waiting for the bus, this hooker costume is really going to pay for itself.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
The bathroom cleaners switched from blue toilet cleaner to red, it's festive!

OH GOD I HOPE I'M NOT PISSING BLOOD.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Eating some cheese, and probably a little saran wrap in the dark in the kitchen.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
If someone says, I like you it's not personal, it's just business. That's just the gangster way of saying I’m going to fuck you, right?
@Dolanite
Dolanite
I sneezed in line to board the plane to Vegas, the woman in front of me turned to stare, but didn't bless me. So I licked her face.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Feeding myself cheese as indicated by the care instructuons I came with.
@Dolanite
Dolanite
A slutty homeless chick. That would be a Hoebo right?
@Dolanite
Dolanite
Saw a discarded red shoulder pad on a corner in Oakland. You know what that means?! We have a time traveler from the 80's in our midst!
@Dolanite
Dolanite
So time for another waxing. I swear that thing grows like a bush!
@Dolanite
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