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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    How do I delete this shitty app that lets people call me?

    • 1,310
    • FAVS
    brianharnesstjcirimeleStiffster1216PetiteRainCityItsSydVicioussheschiMysticFallGuydragonsoo32
    • 754
    • RETWEETS
    tjcirimeleashish299sheschidragonsoo32bradgearoncranky_unfun_1tripasdegatocaseytduncan
    Jennifergr8nateottercirclejokesEatingZebras______SkunkFartsgreggified________
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    Porn would be so much more realistic if they put a dog or cat in the background just staring at the actors intently.

    • 611
    • FAVS
    zerpfluecktH_Mac4BedheadBunnyejo113HatfieldAnneOliviiafaverojeffaweeclarkThatMichaelKid_
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    fliederstaubjeffaweeclarkApril_LibertytjcirimelePetiteRainCityboobsmcgee21662x3Esspappe
    RummyLauded
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    You can’t prove dinosaurs didn’t all die from sadness.

    • 351
    • FAVS
    nobfherevelasquez_peres5150Rayhighestryanbklynmike3FranHaswelltjcirimelePetiteRainCity
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    ravingrantboobsmcgee21MysticFallGuyBLAZEANDALEXKCGibbonscaseytduncanDarkTallBastardAndreaC242
    Mothpete
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    'OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! WHO THE FUCK PISSED HERE? OMG OMG OMG!' -my dog every four steps on a walk

    • 534
    • FAVS
    velasquez_peres5150RayHatfieldAnnetjcirimeleMelissaJoy33PetiteRainCityveryveryonlineboobsmcgee21
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    ravingrantcaseytduncanDarkTallBastardFancyNancyAnnwickedsugashybonersTlaxBoy05LavanyaSeth
    2XSiv4U
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    It's like this cop doesn't even care that I have a cape on.

    • 502
    • FAVS
    highestryanOne_FineMesstjcirimelePetiteRainCityboobsmcgee21BLAZEANDALEXcaseytduncanDarkTallBastard
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    samanthamerrit2ashish299boobsmcgee21caseytduncanDarkTallBastardwickedsugadinkxxxxprehabfrsomthin
    mrtruthandsoul
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    Guess who passed out first at the party... http://t.co/5yoMqt3o

    • 186
    • FAVS
    Jay1972JayMrJeremyHorncynicalminds_nhhabibBr_y_annTheGrimKingDamageCase999MandyMoeMents____
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    cynicalminds_sub_conscious_fadedddd_ItsGioSlut_Insomaniacsiklooz__________BlueDreamer420Stonemania
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    ‘Dry those pussies, ladies. I’m just here for a sandwich.’ -How I order at Subway

    • 389
    • FAVS
    highestryantjcirimeleMysticFallGuycaseytduncanjudesammvbernth85DelanoStarsshart_tart__
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    caseytduncanvbernth85wickedsugaTlaxBoy05eliserose5__caperbc75jackcharleswardalbywizzy
    gristle_kissesJJLUCE31BigMickgarth0ff__________greggified________
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    If you're waiting on me to 'get ready' I'm probably just spending 20 minutes trying to get my hoodie strings the same length.

    • 426
    • FAVS
    highestryanHatfieldAnnetjcirimelePetiteRainCityboobsmcgee21BLAZEANDALEXgbobinacaseytduncan
    • 155
    • RETWEETS
    highestryantjcirimeleboobsmcgee21caseytduncanDarkTallBastardmac1tobywickedsugaTlaxBoy05
    jayna_patrice
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    No I don't want to hold your fucking baby. You had it, you hold it.

    • 306
    • FAVS
    highestryantjcirimeleboobsmcgee21OMGKHYhfisher177gbobinacaseytduncanKittenWritten
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    highestryantjcirimeleboobsmcgee21caseytduncanAnneClareIvywickedsugaTlaxBoy05KMk4Kicks__
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    I just checked Facebook. There's still a bunch of babies and bible quotes. Oh, and this one guy baked a pie.

    • 353
    • FAVS
    HatfieldAnnePetiteRainCitymac1tobywickedsugaKMk4Kicks__MrsJekyllsHydeLuvPugonelongbender__
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    mac1tobywickedsugasaugep_sarahrushgurl2112LiaThe_Loneonelostaprilcaperbc75TrippWalden
    EmileeCaroChiefTwittler
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    I can't believe women are just allowed to walk around and make decisions and shit.

    • 334
    • FAVS
    5150RayhighestryantjcirimeletessafireOMGKHYgbobinacaseytduncanBadForEveryone
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    tjcirimelecaseytduncanBadForEveryonewickedsugaTlaxBoy05MrsJekyllsHydecaperbc75nhhabib
    siamondayThe_Opposed__
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    Hey guys driving old cop cars, you owe me like 80 half joints. 

    • 244
    • FAVS
    liliesandroses_highestryankansaswaggAdyacestjcirimelePetiteRainCitythewhitneymacongimpsuite
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    ravingranthighestryankansaswaggAdyacesgimpsuite662x3caseytduncanSayhikristy
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    I never kiss and tell. My uncle was always very strict about that.

    • 383
    • FAVS
    PetiteRainCitymac1tobyBellevivant66vbernth85wickedsugaTlaxBoy05wisdom_spewedMrsJekyllsHyde
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    mac1tobywickedsugaTlaxBoy05CopperheadSammilllvvvzzzimgmovvidWilliamDettloffPigDogWhore
    bite_it_harder
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    My sense of direction is terrible. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

    • 276
    • FAVS
    th_purpl_ladyhighestryantjcirimeleMayceIIePetiteRainCityeccentric_ladboobsmcgee21tessafire
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    Kindizth_purpl_ladyhighestryanboobsmcgee21tessafireshitgrxcecaseytduncanTlaxBoy05
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    My TV screen just went black.

    I hope that old saying isn't true.

    • 308
    • FAVS
    skernn23vbernth85BadForEveryonewickedsugaTlaxBoy05MrsJekyllsHydeLuvPugonelongbender__
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    vbernth85wickedsugaTlaxBoy05asbadasbadcanbecaperbc75mwachmwachb_dubya41Lox_21
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    Can you overdose on Plan B? Asking because I'm making this girl breakfast.

    • 261
    • FAVS
    PetiteRainCitywickedsugaTlaxBoy05MrsJekyllsHydeonelongbender__deschutz99barbie_doll921caperbc75
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05deschutz99caperbc75albywizzyAlyssa_Jolie__Favstar250nhhabibmolmiller________
    SeeEllVee
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    If you're telling me a story and I say 'Oh, really?', I probably stopped listening around the beginning.

    • 247
    • FAVS
    th_purpl_ladySammyJB121highestryantjcirimelePetiteRainCitytessafirecaseytduncanwickedsuga
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    highestryantjcirimelenotsleeepingtessafirecaseytduncanKMk4Kicks__wisdom_spewedcaperbc75
    miss_ogyny_________bossnova
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    Math quiz: if a jet traveling 867mph carrying One Direction crashed into a jet going 956mph carrying Justin Bieber, how cool would that be?

    • 97
    • FAVS
    ericsshadowlllvvvzzzpassion_bitesrheaxoxxLuvPugcuriousteejwolfmannjrgreciapapitas
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    ksvdarshanAman93deepcpb1977lilgapeach32__kittykat6251wolfmannjrshama_thakur99onelongbender__
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    I don't think this LSD is working, so I'm just going to tell all these dinosaurs to get out of my backyard.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    __mystif__BedheadBunnyhighestryanbklynmike3tjcirimeleMysticFallGuytessafireFrenchysfuquads
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    highestryanshitgrxcecaseytduncanKMk4Kicks__caperbc75K_aroki_albywizzyAlyssa_Jolie__
  • Doom_Jedi
      No one @Doom_Jedi

    The best way to drink 5-hour Energy is to throw it in the trash and get some cocaine.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    PetiteRainCityonelongbender__hstweetheartLaRaconteusenhhabibclaireroche94rockermommy3BlairLoudly
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    EddieMac330candace_9871bleedamericanxcggumusBuyergirl882bradilynn7amityrdjimmyrdraindesert
    StexcySaraESpivey
@Doom_Jedi

@Doom_Jedi

I saw Alan Thicke in an airport once.

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