My upstairs neighbors were having sex so loudly this morning I had to bang on the ceiling and ask if I could join them

GROUP TWITTER HUG

A massive voting participation rate can literally change the political landscape of Canada, so get out there and vote! #elxn41 #cdnpoli

Is it possible to be so tired you actually shit yourself?

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending rapture. Amen.

I successfully sucked a shirt and some underwear into my vacuum today. No congratulations necessary.

BUUUUUSTEDDDDD : http://t.co/XNpJ8Wu

GUYS GUYS, THEY ARE WEARING JERSEYS WITH THEIR NAMES ON THEM. We just need to find 500 Luongos, 800 Sedins, and like 20 Salos

It's so nice when it rains in Vancouver and I get to watch a tampon applicator float down a storm drain

ppl criticizing Adele's dress, bitch pls that is Valentino we should be so lucky to ever be draped in Valentino

It's one degree out and I just saw some lady drive past me with the top down on her convertible. Her nipples are gonna be so pointy!

What's Sisqo up to these days?

Deodorant should be required with all skytrain ticket purchases

my favourite part about Ikea food is that there's no assembly required except for when my body turns it into diarrhea 2 hours later

If anyone needs me I'll be elbow-deep in this bag of Lays

The only problem with going to concerts is all the other assholes who go to concerts

What if all this zombie stuff is just Bieber fever?

Life got a little bit better when I found out there's a place called Tootingshire

FUCK YEAH THIS IS AWESOME I AM TAKING A DUMP OFF MY BALCONYYYY

Exciting things! You can scroll on your iphone using your nipple.