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  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    My boyfriend is so Jewish, he'd watch Porn backwards just to see the hooker give the money back.

    • 1,958
    • FAVS
    bisco904DebHawk12ContwixtnicollectioNYCKandieKaneeecactibeachmax_pad21jdb0417
    • 932
    • RETWEETS
    DebHawk12ContwixtnicollectioNYCcactibeachmax_pad21dgiardini_ivornoideaGilbertGlen
    SondraDeeMeSean_Burgundy_CamusOverEasyHarbinger_oneeliserose5__SupersurlyabstractesamalmightysamTimUhlTat6277__________facciabellaYourFavMexi_Canb_luca____________
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol.

    Like Customs, for example.

    • 1,572
    • FAVS
    Prero22Jesus_CrustTGFMFTbisco904ContwixtNathRutherfordEddieMcSugarnutAdi_ction
    • 735
    • RETWEETS
    Gavo13Prero22TGFMFTContwixtwearingmysuniesavaxruusMelz89TobeySimon
    li4mst3w4rtNeutrontrilogy1knotwholeTheRealDrToddNeonWhiskymrschaotic__titsNtatertotsemirkr
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I hate it when my husband accuses me of not caring about whatever the fuck he was talking about.

    • 1,628
    • FAVS
    SycophanticFurymmjconlonmax_pad21mmebug6justwanttobeme3Grey_at50thequeensheartHRCob
    • 629
    • RETWEETS
    max_pad21mmebug6thequeensheartCannabis_CaneInvictusDadcarlielynStinkyGr33nlovemydogduck
    houffymattgallo123jeffreyvanclea1Marlebean5haelThedudishCrystalMoonableBasstardy________jdstalnaked
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ladies- it's important to have a man that:

    1) Rocks in bed
    2) Buys you stuff
    3) Compliments you
    4) These 3 men do not know each other.

    • 1,416
    • FAVS
    BeckyLynne38max_pad21DarkTallBastardInklings411NoNeedToKnow29kisstheswitchshawn_spreeMom4kids97
    • 681
    • RETWEETS
    BeckyLynne38max_pad21DarkTallBastardInklings411teejay_pumpinNoNeedToKnow29shawn_spreeNonnie_Linda
    li4mst3w4rthirojesusDrDweezilJandalizecrayan9livingnBostonVeuxsSergioValenCoMaui_Speaks
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I hate Jehovah Witnesses.

    Mind you, being of Italian descent, I hate any witnesses.

    • 1,275
    • FAVS
    heroinsdemisemax_pad21FeverFlaveits_just_annie1francescalifeUnderchildeTacoStamp1StinkyGr33n
    • 461
    • RETWEETS
    max_pad21PhoenvvxperaisakopQamaludeenUnderchildeStinkyGr33nSpankieWankielovemydogduck
    ericonederfulsmartypeachRummyLaudedBurgee66__________RykWeston________
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    How to find your wife while shopping:

    1- Call out her name
    2- Check the cosmetics aisle
    3- Smack another woman's ass

    • 1,016
    • FAVS
    HairyPNessYateerShafiqNotBachibawlzSkinnerthe3rdtequilasaltlifeGrantJ18FeverFlaveUnderchilde
    • 458
    • RETWEETS
    sunkissedgypsytequilasaltlifeGrantJ18eskimo_tekillyaFeverFlaveTommy_TidalwaveUnderchildeMilkahShabanji
    kcmoore51thetobbieCliffordMyerssilent_musings
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Just saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap.

    Must be his alarm system.

    • 1,027
    • FAVS
    NotBachibawlzKaylaButWithAnHeskimo_tekillyaFeverFlaveUnderchildeTacoStamp1sporeguyamavisritafarrow
    • 400
    • RETWEETS
    eskimo_tekillyaFeverFlaveUnderchildepraisecheeseMr_KapowskiStinkyGr33nlovemydogduckMind_fukk
    Xalqeezachreinert03Cpez38CrystalMoonablenotfaizzyPhilLaysheOdisarray_atbestRoadfilm__________skullpuppy11RealJimmySnow____PeaceInTruth1karencreets______
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I wonder if people in 3rd world countries know that we can choose between crushed and regular ice cubes.

    • 876
    • FAVS
    garrettbarry70PeaceLoveWine_krishna_vanlemmywinklerZachherreramel_smurfette_ZachRapp_rage_chaos
    • 276
    • RETWEETS
    Jedi_Daddygarrettbarry70krishna_vanandreadaniel76_ZachRapp_rage_chaosBlancheDD140chyanna_lea
    WonderMonkey78A_SmartAsseliserose5__Bathing_in_Sin____ryang121__________jasonlight73cfishing
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    FOR SALE:

    Wedding dress size 6. Only worn once. By mistake.

    • 838
    • FAVS
    Mikestanley1fallenangel3324ChrisPhigNewtonFeverFlaveUnderchildeTacoStamp1JaneBadallStinkyGr33n
    • 279
    • RETWEETS
    BonJovi32eskimo_tekillyaFeverFlaveUnderchildeSMuennichStinkyGr33nSureshMKothariThe_GetawayGirl
    translucentme_RummyLauded
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ladies, stop getting all Pavlovy when you see a man open a car door for his woman.

    Either the car is new or the woman is.

    • 764
    • FAVS
    rekispBene_JesserittnapotterBatmansMartinivodkachops1Rachologygarrettbarry70ShinyNewDrug
    • 278
    • RETWEETS
    tnapotterBatmansMartinivodkachops1garrettbarry70ShinyNewDrugeskimo_tekillyaFeverFlaveUnderchilde
    HoneyUnhinged
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Gotta hand it to midgets sometimes.

    You know, cause they can't reach and all.

    • 760
    • FAVS
    HairyPNessJD_KCFeverFlaveUnderchildeTacoStamp1momofguppiesStinkyGr33nlovemydogduck
    • 271
    • RETWEETS
    FeverFlavejohnusmcgee71UnderchildemomofguppiesStinkyGr33nlovemydogduckRobinsonKayteLovesRedWine
    jumpdasharkmontaukmonster1Better_CleverGinlicker________TheNordicHammer
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I like to cough a lot when visiting family so that no one asks me to hold their baby or help prepare food.

    • 665
    • FAVS
    sumthinkHairyPNesseskimo_tekillyaShinyNewDrugFeverFlaveTacoStamp1momofguppiesStinkyGr33n
    • 312
    • RETWEETS
    HairyPNesseskimo_tekillyaShinyNewDrugFeverFlavemomofguppiesStinkyGr33nRobinsonKayteSangelinaCoffey
    BillArrundale
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Guns don't kill people.

    Celine Dion's music kills people.

    • 679
    • FAVS
    FeverFlaveCuntryHybriddreadnaught69greggoodman77garrettbarry70EddieMcSugarnutUnderchildeTacoStamp1
    • 281
    • RETWEETS
    FeverFlaveCuntryHybriddreadnaught69garrettbarry70UnderchildeStinkyGr33nwhiskyfreak90HelmdawgE
    KKAlThanistacetoned
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I had salad for supper. Potato salad. It had lots of potatoes. They were distilled. Ok it was Vodka. I had Vodka.

    • 581
    • FAVS
    cougarcallgirl1oxytocinsFeverFlaveheroinsdemiseTattoosAndVodkaGbaeyxoTriumphantJengarrettbarry70
    • 362
    • RETWEETS
    SoniaSalvatoriFeverFlaveIts_nimmoGeorgiz_MC_Eihttednahjacksons_Musyoki_doreenwaira
    Gobshite_LADaddy
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Pigs would have a much longer lifespan if they weren't made out of bacon.

    • 526
    • FAVS
    TXFunGuy6FeverFlaveSidilusdeltorobarBauies123JohanTacoStamp1lovemydogduckfessiejant
    • 388
    • RETWEETS
    TXFunGuy6PrettyinromanceFeverFlaveSidilusJedi_DaddyBauies123Johanbirdysauruslovemydogduck
    lauradru62__Alex_N_Chains
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    "Let's go somewhere expensive tonight"
    We drove to the gas station, filled up & came back home.

    Now, we're eating soup out of a can.

    • 677
    • FAVS
    cougarcallgirl1FeverFlavelondonheatherspatnspankmegarrettbarry70TacoStamp1momofguppiesStinkyGr33n
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    FeverFlavepatnspankmegarrettbarry70StinkyGr33nlovemydogducksweetg35JLeezy818wickedsuga
    ImHopel3ss
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Mom, what's a Kardashian? It's what a midget can't see over when in the driver's seat. Just kidding, dear. It means whore.

    • 596
    • FAVS
    cougarcallgirl1oh_kay_leeLivewire3791FeverFlavegarrettbarry70EddieMcSugarnutcarlielynBauies123Johan
    • 274
    • RETWEETS
    Livewire3791FeverFlaveBauies123JohanbirdysauruslovemydogduckHRH_IamkayzamaniKyleTurnerLewis
    MyDarkSide73FunnyRandomboobillGuyAdvisor
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    There are two different kinds of pedestrians.

    Ones that cross quickly and ones that get stuck under my car.

    • 647
    • FAVS
    CelebrityChezjayjoeAbstractdaagwiGreenMonkscreamingqueen2VodkaTiemFeverFlaveTattoosAndVodka
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    funnie_bunnyiGreenMonkjherrr324FrasierSeinVodkaTiemFeverFlaveTattoosAndVodkagarrettbarry70
    montaukmonster1
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ever read an inspirational quote that completely transformed your life?

    A) No
    B) A
    C) B

    • 515
    • FAVS
    FeverFlavesamiam604TacoStamp1cheyenn10316666StinkyGr33nkittycat821joshfriesen4HelmdawgE
    • 343
    • RETWEETS
    FeverFlavesamiam604StinkyGr33nPascaldegiersugar_lips30joshfriesen4HelmdawgEkelitos_way
    Slim_is_Fat
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    There are 7,128 grocery carts to choose from, yet I always manage to pick the one that makes me look like I have Cerebral Palsy.

    • 627
    • FAVS
    FeverFlaveCPTWonderfucklondonheatherspatnspankmegarrettbarry70EddieMcSugarnutTacoStamp1Ahnster1
    • 212
    • RETWEETS
    FeverFlavepatnspankmegarrettbarry70StinkyGr33nEllelouisegirlBrdnHatesYouEllLizBethJLeezy818
    roadkill3xPaul_Rego________InconsteveableUnFitz
@DosieDoe

@DosieDoe
Pro

Publicly, here on Twitter- I'm coming out of the closet. I hate my kids. There I said it. http://favstar.fm/users/DosieDoe/recent

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