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  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    My boyfriend is so Jewish, he'd watch Porn backwards just to see the hooker give the money back.

    • 1,742
    • FAVS
    mattgallo123Jack_Hererererturboescortdude2015_warrior1VylektraMuhlkyIAmAshleyDeAnnbadassicorn
    • 810
    • RETWEETS
    turboescortdudeIAmAshleyDeAnnItsMyKitchenGo2SlpTayTwatTitsBrownBoxersminafisheyesBettieLoves
    CamusOverEasyHarbinger_oneeliserose5SupersurlyabstractesamalmightysamTimUhlTat6277__________facciabellaYourFavMexi_Canb_luca____________
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol.

    Like Customs, for example.

    • 1,472
    • FAVS
    hstweetheartk_endraleighlauradufsmattgallo123coconut4431lovestained555AntonioManwhoredaphnepotter69
    • 661
    • RETWEETS
    harikajanjamlovestained555daphnepotter69DanielleOlenakburger_wingmanshopkins776prajnabyproxyOkr8r
    li4mst3w4rtNeutrontrilogy1knotwholeTheRealDrToddNeonWhiskymrschaotictitsNtatertotsemirkr
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I hate it when my husband accuses me of not caring about whatever the fuck he was talking about.

    • 1,511
    • FAVS
    Glinda_Rtheisis36KylievfordDebbieW36246900__teaghenArcherCamusmediocregeeJack_Herererer
    • 565
    • RETWEETS
    sissy__jessicamattgallo123BonesHerLyptonStationpeterbutler17sixfootcandyvivacioushobolulutrixibellej
    mattgallo123jeffreyvanclea1Marlebean5haelThedudishCrystalMoonableBasstardy________jdstalnaked
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ladies- it's important to have a man that:

    1) Rocks in bed
    2) Buys you stuff
    3) Compliments you
    4) These 3 men do not know each other.

    • 1,324
    • FAVS
    MarahSaloneyLawrenceBritishcallmeloucoralreefiekole_lawrenceJack_HererereraaameeeliiiaIC_hott
    • 630
    • RETWEETS
    beckstarz3LawrenceBritishananthakumartryPhil_Pagettdaemonic3AwichPatiinkedZombieDMAMA232323
    hirojesusDrDweezilJandalizecrayan9livingnBostonVeuxsSergioValenCoMaui_Speaks
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I hate Jehovah Witnesses.

    Mind you, being of Italian descent, I hate any witnesses.

    • 1,084
    • FAVS
    nadsaleemjessmbaumDonna_McCoyJack_HererererItsMyKitchenGo2Slpjcroztpet57
    • 341
    • RETWEETS
    Caguama40Donna_McCoylauradru62lucianoDsantoshirojesusMissLynette13sassatellij15KumarN16
    ericonederfulsmartypeachRummyLaudedBurgee66__________RykWeston________
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Just saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap.

    Must be his alarm system.

    • 970
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererererDeurb1RichardProctorItsMyKitchenGo2Slpderejezkjcrozbees_wingz
    • 368
    • RETWEETS
    Deurb1jcrozMentalDV8TheMexicanGuy_lauradru62derejezkchrishouse39Halbeerz
    Xalqeezachreinert03Cpez38CrystalMoonablenotfaizzyPhilLaysheOdisarray_atbestRoadfilm__________skullpuppy11RealJimmySnow____PeaceInTruth1karencreets______
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    How to find your wife while shopping:

    1- Call out her name
    2- Check the cosmetics aisle
    3- Smack another woman's ass

    • 916
    • FAVS
    Jack_HerererermommybritisbackSillyBlonde1desoraisindefenditTOPLAWDOGWayneGreenstonehippiefaerie_x
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    mommybritisbackdefenditTOPLAWDOGWayneGreenstoneNaughtybits247iinkedZombieClip_Show_Timelauradru62
    kcmoore51thetobbieCliffordMyerssilent_musings
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I wonder if people in 3rd world countries know that we can choose between crushed and regular ice cubes.

    • 812
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererererTastesLikeBoardaudreyrealtorAlishaJamezannembeeScorpio1080daniel_frijolesTheAlexNevil
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    semieduredneckannembeeScorpio1080daniel_frijolesTheAlexNevilequinelover137LADaddyscrivenagustin
    A_SmartAsseliserose5Bathing_in_Sin____ryang121__________jasonlight73cfishing
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    FOR SALE:

    Wedding dress size 6. Only worn once. By mistake.

    • 766
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererereraudreyrealtorBellevivant66PukkaBlogsClarkLondaleemahersalzmanTzviZuckerdaniel_frijoles
    • 249
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexNevillauradru62E_1810ayushia141191lionsdenkingKumarN16kathybotteasLostGirl2323
    translucentme_RummyLauded
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Gotta hand it to midgets sometimes.

    You know, cause they can't reach and all.

    • 732
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererererItsMyKitchenGo2Slplauradru62Gobshite_DumbConfessions4ScoreN20Bowlshirojesus
    • 255
    • RETWEETS
    ManicRt4ScoreN20BowlshirojesusNiharikaSahni88CrokedSymposiumJonToRememberpdxjohnny997maryt
    jumpdasharkmontaukmonster1Better_CleverGinlicker________TheNordicHammer
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ladies, stop getting all Pavlovy when you see a man open a car door for his woman.

    Either the car is new or the woman is.

    • 721
    • FAVS
    Jack_Hererereraudreyrealtormeglovelyvckindrondaniel_frijolesTzviZuckerTheAlexNevilRichardProctor
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    LOLJTXTheAlexNevilspinnie73Cyd10eTaylaLeighCampbBonJovi32betowmxlauradru62
    HoneyUnhinged
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Guns don't kill people.

    Celine Dion's music kills people.

    • 651
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererereraudreyrealtorTheAlexNevilRichardProctorItsMyKitchenLADaddySamInspiredlauradru62
    • 270
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexNevilLADaddylauradru62plinktertondillyduzmeTannisPhotosDarkPutschlovestained555
    KKAlThanistacetoned
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I like to cough a lot when visiting family so that no one asks me to hold their baby or help prepare food.

    • 624
    • FAVS
    mattgallo123Jack_HererererSoo_ScandaloussWrayMamageoffhanselliinkedZombieItsMyKitchenleavingnehalem
    • 285
    • RETWEETS
    iinkedZombieCwAy_bckissmeimkinkyHalbeerzlauradru621_swarthy_dudeDarkPutschWillie1derful
    BillArrundale
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    "Let's go somewhere expensive tonight"
    We drove to the gas station, filled up & came back home.

    Now, we're eating soup out of a can.

    • 647
    • FAVS
    mattgallo123Mindless4Miles2Squirrels1NutDonna_McCoyJack_HererererRichardProctorItsMyKitchen1_swarthy_dude
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    Donna_McCoyDarkPutschBettieLoveslovestained555pdxjohnny99FeatheredFreyjavexroidcorpcomply
    ImHopel3ss
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    I had salad for supper. Potato salad. It had lots of potatoes. They were distilled. Ok it was Vodka. I had Vodka.

    • 522
    • FAVS
    daemonic3ShoutingGoddessbigmac62712debbpattonecejatrubluBrdnHatesYouShehzad_UlhaqProseNCons
    • 328
    • RETWEETS
    Jack_Herererersoulindivisionbigmac62712rona65BrdnHatesYouShehzad_UlhaqProseNConskofibarca
    Gobshite_LADaddy
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Pigs would have a much longer lifespan if they weren't made out of bacon.

    • 475
    • FAVS
    Jack_Hererererdaemonic3ProseNConsiinkedZombieRichardProctorrustyguntertheWriteRaufmichowl
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    iinkedZombiepeee_rutyrantasorusrankingTweetslauradru62ShermanParts1_swarthy_dudei_R_crimzy
    lauradru62Alex_N_Chains
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Mom, what's a Kardashian? It's what a midget can't see over when in the driver's seat. Just kidding, dear. It means whore.

    • 565
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererererRichardProctortravcurriewhiskey__womancleverthanjewrlauradru621_swarthy_dudeGobshite_
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    ChaseEmDowncleverthanjewrWhiteTrashGentlauradru62ThatGirlHealypdxjohnny99LostGirl2323texasstalkermom
    MyDarkSide73FunnyRandomboobillGuyAdvisor
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    There are 7,128 grocery carts to choose from, yet I always manage to pick the one that makes me look like I have Cerebral Palsy.

    • 604
    • FAVS
    Jack_HererererRichardProctorleavingnehalemJ4shylauradru62bigwilliamhead1_swarthy_dudeGobshite_
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    Jack_HererererkissmeimkinkyJ4shylauradru62EmilyMcIlravey1_swarthy_dudecarryoncarolTheAlexNevil
    roadkill3xPaul_Rego________InconsteveableUnFitz
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    There are two different kinds of pedestrians.

    Ones that cross quickly and ones that get stuck under my car.

    • 610
    • FAVS
    mattgallo123Jack_HererererDons78sbheartlesslieDeurb1RichardProctorkaittyqHannonChicago
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    challblues25Dons78sbDeurb1ms_snippetykissmeimkinky1_swarthy_dudeyma_pmaksurkcarryoncarol
    montaukmonster1
  • DosieDoe
      Dosie Doe @DosieDoe

    Ever read an inspirational quote that completely transformed your life?

    A) No
    B) A
    C) B

    • 471
    • FAVS
    BettieLovesSamiam556mattgallo123max_grudowskicruckthekidIC_hottleversenkaylaTreemoreClayton
    • 316
    • RETWEETS
    Samiam556chan97RcraioveanWombizzleSpdrman59BradyHartungBethanyImmoorHammer0fTheEast
    McChucklenuts
@DosieDoe

@DosieDoe
Pro

Publicly, here on Twitter- I'm coming out of the closet. I hate my kids. There I said it. http://favstar.fm/users/DosieDoe/recent

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