Tim Thomas was scored on by a black guy from Washington. #ObamaLastLaugh

#HowToGetRejected have LeBron James' hairline

Joe Buck Yourself #FantasyFootballTeamNames

RT if you ratchet #beek_live

PLAXidental Shooting #FantasyFootballTeamNames

My beard will always be better than yours, @jharden13 #FACT

Mario Kart... END OF ARGUMENT #BestVideoGameEver

First of all, #ThingsISayToMuch the "To" is spelled wrong lol

I believe it was Obama who said "if I can't fix the economy in 4 years, then I don't deserve a 2nd term." Time to pay the piper, Barack.

When #MyStripperName is trending with more popularity than #conclave, that's when you know we're all going to Hell.

#10SignsShesTheOne she knows what a balk is

All gold medals will be taken from the winners and given to those in last place #ObamaOlympics

Michelle Obama's most used word in her speech was "Barack" and Ann Romney's was "America". It's clear what mentality is exuded for each.

Sorry #Cowboys, but we have the better Romo #Sergio

The fact that #SuicideWatch is trending makes me lose faith in humanity

#LanceArmstrong IS and WILL ALWAYS BE the greatest cyclist of all time.

The Token Blackmon #FantasyFootballTeamNames

Hey #Dodgers, we have more rings than you now. SUCK ON IT.

#IDontHaveTimeFor #Dodgers fans hating in my mentions. YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS, BITCHES STFU

A big FUCK YOU goes out to @chrisbrown on his birthday. Takes a real man to show a woman who's boss, right? #douche