@peytonshead @nbc has the Breeder’s Cup on. The favorite is Antonio Cromartie.

@mrgeorgewallace Shoot out to the OK Corral.

@mrstevengeorge This store name screams that we must stop this lunacy.  http://yfrog.com/hwpspvuj 

@mrgeorgewallace Shout out to everyone showing up at church an hour late this morning.

#FF The only performer I know who provides a free ticket to every show in 2012 for active duty military, @mrgeorgewallace. Bless you, pal.

@andykindler Cold, Dead Fingers Sandwiches #NRAdeli

Wasn't it just a couple of years ago that China and the U.S. each blew up satellites with lasers? #tweetthenation

There’s something about Alabama athletics. When it’s been your life, retirement isn’t an option. #BearBryant #MalMoore

Since most of our labor has been outsourced, does China get the day off?

“Stay away from the brown bath salts!”

Rosanne Barr is running for President, following in the comic footsteps Pat Paulson, Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich.

I feel like a million bucks. A sold-off, beaten down, devalued, quantitatively eased, downgraded million bucks. #Fed

Obama to invite S&P to an ice cream summit. Double-dips for everyone! #downgrade

@perlapell Coulter: noun. A cutting tool for a plow to mix soil with bullshit. Sentence: That Coulter sure stirs the shit.

@mrstevengeorge A ban on advertising semi-automatic weapons is a fast first step. Today’s paper:  http://yfrog.com/esbmqicnj 

@funnyrosie @thebobbieoliver http://t.co/SDDtCfVA

@cbsbigbrother Rachel returns if opened. Please, God, no.

"Dude, you're getting a generator!" -Michael Dell to Indian Tech Support

Happy 70th, Muhammad Ali. Here's some of the fun given us by Ali and Cosell.
http://t.co/PTDiCmC8

"You know how to raspberry, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and go, 'Pppffffffttt!'" #movielinefirstdrafts