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Step 2 on how to be a douche: Call bitches, well...bitches.
Step one on how to be a douche: Slap a Monster bumper sticker on your car.
My new philosophy in life is to not do for someone what they wouldn't do for you. In the end, it will just end of hurting you even more.
Never put your name on the line for someone that wouldn't do the same for you.
I don't want to be heard, I want to be listened to.
An e-cig so masculine it looks like a butt plug.
Oh you want to go to bonerville? Well get in line and set a course for intercourse.
If you look like two completely different people with and w/out makeup on, then I'm sorry, you're phony as fuck.
I want you, minus all the bullshit.
Sees Twitter notification..."Someone DOES like me!"
Sees retweet of a retweet...goes back to cutting myself.
Eyeliner caked on so thick you look like an ancient Egyptian.
Gloryholes…..there’s a side for everyone.
How many ways of communication do you want to fight with someone you love? Zero, the answer is zero.
My words at times may come out wrong, but I try. I will never regret trying.
Today was fucked. So fucked that it pretty much fucked tomorrow too. Fuck this, fuck that.
Don't just fuck the day, butt fuck the day.
Puking is just your bodies way of saying your 'check engine' light is on. Give it more alcohol and it will be fine.
Some bullshit just isn't worth it.
Cut my nostril while shaving. I don't even know.