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I miss Rodney Dangerfield.
You do know Facebook "friends" aren't actually friends, right?
Look, Jimmy Johns sandwiches suck. Bread is as hard as a rock.
Saying that she’s my wife, yes, that does make me the pussy police.
Don't just look at the cake, don't crave the cake, be the cake.
Inspirational tweet of the day.
So, what school do you have to go to to learn how to bleach assholes?
I’m married, and I’m here to tell you girls DO fart. A lot.
I’m no poet, but fuck you.
We get it, you like weed. No need to advertise it like you're in high school.
I just say what you're already thinking. Tits. KCCO
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