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Am I the only one that gets turned on by food?
If you're not losing followers, you're doing something wrong. Tweet like you don't give a shit.
I stare at my phone so much that I at times forget I have a wife. Kids. Job. Responsibilities. Penis.
I'm at the age where a delicious cheeseburger could give me a boner.
I could rant about my need to fap.....but I'll just continue to fap...
I don't have a back windshield big enough to put stickers of all my emotional baggage on it. I mean kids. Stickers of my kids.
Obama vs Putin. My money is on Putin. Obama talks, Putin acts. One is a soldier, the other is a cartoon.
Turn the page of rage and become an alcoholic like me.
You gotta be a dumb mofo to get pulled over by a cop that is in front of you.
Side note: I need $180 to pay a ticket.