( . )( . )( . ) #TotalRecall

They probably just keep calling her "Little Debbie" 'cause "Old Ass Racist Debbie" wouldn't sell as many Swiss rolls.

I'm the Carl Jung of not wanting to hear about your dream.

shut up eminem nobody likes u anymore you whiny bitch

be a kill yourself for halloween

Russian cosmonaut sent back in time to get more barrels of drakkar noir.

RT if you don't follow me

I like the cut of your jibberish

take me down to the very last city where the girls are green and the grass is pretty

I'm gonna downward facing dog you to death.

Every cat has a French accent.

Jeff Goldblum is not the drummer for Gwar

No I don't want to see your ultrasound picture. I do not want to see a picture of the inside of your vagina.

fuckin yogurt sippin butt toucher

*Professor McGonagall places the Sorting Hat on my head* "CRIP!!!" *I c walk up outta that bitch*

I want to learn mo about jellyfish

You can get pregnant from any type of sex. You don't want babies shooting out your mouth do you? - future sex talk with daughter

I'm the guy that shows up at the party an hour early w/a sixer of O'Douls and Connect Four... I fuck your sister later, though.

YOKO ONO LIVES ON #YOLO

my urine is a nice healthy red