"WHOA! They had Instagram in the 60's???" - me looking at pics in the attic

#signsOfCheating When they point to the window and say "LOOK A DUDE IS JERKING HIS TOAD!" and the chess pieces look diff when u turn back

I like u more than just a dad

Wait till a deer falls asleep and put him in roller blades

"Ur not going to college? Have fun being a SANDWICH ARTIST FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" *You smile and Animorph into a sandwich with a beret*

How come every Fedora i buy comes with a tag that says "Best Used If You Don't Shower And Have Strong Will To voice Your Opinions"???

How come Samuel L. Jackson always plays a black guy???

WOW! Best show at Chuckie Cheese's I've ever seen!!! The animatronic band didn't play music. Blood just poured from their mouths for 20 mins

I jump in the air and do a backflip but I can't stop. keep flippin'. Start to vom and pee while flippin. Millions gather to bear witness

And the award for best thing is.....DOG! Congrats dog.

#MyHomelessSignWouldSay First I was HomeStuck. Now I am HomeLess. Donate to my paypal at AtheistRepublicanBrony@hotmail.com

Google [insert your first name here] the hedgehog and go to images.....that's u in the somic universe

That last track on Shinji's cassette was "Hey Ya" By Outkast

I have collected my eye crusties in a salt shaker since the age of 7. One day I will leave it in a pizzaria so ppl think it's parmesan

sext: You unbutton my pants and my dick rolls out like a fruit by the foot. it is flat and disappointing.

I crey and tears of nickelodean slime come out. japanese girls lick my face as I sob uncontrollably

Way to wait till AFTER the fact to tell me ur not allowed to shit down the waterslide and race down to the exit to catch it -_-

Dateline NBC: To Catch a Redditor

yes president Obama, the economy isn't going to be fixed anytime soon, but the real issue is who is your favorite Madoka character?

WOW. My mom effing cleaned my ponies while I was at the #Brony #Meetup WTF I was saving up that old cum