Negative effects of smoking marijuana are: Less marijuana.

Eat your school, stay in drugs and don't do vegetables.

If Nicki Minaj and Skrillex fucked their baby would be a robot with nipples the size of jupiter.

You have reached the end of the Internet.

We hope you have enjoyed your experience.

Now go outside and play.

Nickleback is coming to to town & u can attend for 45$ Or you can buy 45 hammers from the dollar store & smack yourself in the face a bunch

My telephone only has two buttons. One calls batman and the other calls pizza hut.

Everyday, million of plants die a horrible crushing death from vegetarians. Please stop the violence

Im hand-built by cocaine

The toy named "Bop it" is where i learned everything i know about foreplay.

I plan on stabbing my eye out today so i can get a glass eye and tap on it with a pen when talking to executives.

If a meteor is going to hit the earth why don't we just block it with paper?

I wonder if cheese says "people" right before they get their photo taken.

My anxieties have anxieties

Just pissed out so many kidney stones that i made the toilet into an aquarium.

If you see a 74 year old in a tight Pink Floyd t-shirt with a walkie talkie trying to sell you weed, dont panic, its not a trap, its just me

Am i the only one that thinks Nicki Minaj looks like Mrs. Potato Head?

People usually think im normal until they look at my twitter page.

Someone favorite this tweet

"You guys make me not want to do anything...and I fucking love it." -words that just came out of my boss's mouth

Why are people trying to stop kobe? HES JUST A BASKETBALL PLAYER