I haven't fed my Neopet in over 10 years. That nigga dead as hell.

Imagine being in Australia chilling, minding your own business, riding your crocodile n'shit, then boom. Fire tornado. http://t.co/7eC3tjE7

I have nothing against what you believe in, but you have to admit.. Jehovah's Witnesses are the real life version of spam.

Anderson Cooper and Frank Ocean came out before Detox.

Tyga: "Rack City bitch, Rack Rack City bitch. 10's 10's 10's.."
Gunman: "Start over nigga you missed a step."

I hate cigarette smoke with a passion.

LMFAO! RT @sirasshole: I like a rapper that cares. Sure, Mystical tells you to shake your ass. But he also tells you to watch yourself.

Gay sons happen. Stop bitching and raise the kid.

Africa is a continent. RT @browniehen: I want the whole Africa state tattooed on my back

Men ask chicks to be hoes, then criticize them for being hoes. Same way women are attracted to ain't shit guys and say we're all the same.

The most civilized individual will pull a 180º when "Knuck If You Buck" comes on.

When your Twitter boo pisses you off, you have to go to the strip club just to tweet with your location on. #NoWomanIsRightTweets

Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter if she cheated on you with a man, woman, or whatever. I'd rather you leave me. I'll live.

Since women like tall men, can we not like real hair? How would you feel if a 6'3" fellow lifted his pants leg and you saw stilts?

When I ate Cocoa Puffs for the first time, then saw that the shit transformed my milk into chocolate milk, I almost lost my fucking mind.

Lil' B should do the halftime show. Just hop out and brrrang thang thang the crowd.

I'm fuckin' crying. RT @nahniggernah Common called Drake, "Canada Dry". A ginger ale beverage. He said that nigga cures tummy aches.

The Taste of Chicago starts today. Come all ye' faithful and dodge bullets.

Black Twitter is that feeling you get when your grandmother tells you to wash a paper plate.

Those "urban" books by female authors have always been ass to me. You know the ones. They have titles like "I Am Wifey" and "Thug Love".