I'm actually surprisingly disappointed that there's no longer a naked @abobrow profile photo anymore.

Good thing in life right now: Henry Cavill's chest hair.

@damncroissants I just laughed a lot at your name being damn croissants.

@crownedstags "My name is Casey, I'm a free bitch baby, ain't gonna suck no dick for money, so gimme this muthafucking job, honey."

@crownedstags IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES

All you need in life is dicks and chocolate.

All @crownedstags has to do is mention Garrus in a tweet and all the blood in my body rushes downwards.

@crownedstags Worked for me.

People who don't think you could fall in love with a video game character have never felt my heartbeat when I think about Garrus Vakarian.

@crownedstags Me and Nick Offerman naked like you'd already promised.

I wonder how many other 23 year olds have brought up Beyblade in a conversation in 2012 or if I'm the only one.

I am way too excited for @crownedstags playing Mass Effect. It doesn't help that I can't think about Mass Effect without crying anymore.

@crownedstags You clearly don't know you're beautiful. :/

@crownedstags  http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8t7o34XMc1qclstjo1_500.gif …

@glorycrash @crownedstags The way that you guys flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

@crownedstags We'd sing together naked I guess? Idk. YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

It's great that marriage is the answer to gun control.

"Did you know the black ranger was a black guy and the yellow ranger was an Asian girl?" WOW THAT'S SO CRAZY NO ONE HAS EVER NOTICED THAT.

So, applying for a full-time salaried career: cover letter and resume. Hourly retail jobs: 100-question psychological profiles. Makes sense.

It's great that we use the internet for important things like posting funny out-of-context comic panels that make Batman look gay.