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Another scenario: The entire White House staff performs "Hit 'Em Up" by Tupac Shakur. Starring Barack Obama as Tupac Shakur.
Hey guys, now you can go back to being a dickface to your girlfriend for the next 365 days!
I like to fuck girls with a stutter and cum in their eyes before they finish saying "N-n-n-not in m-m-my eyes!".
Before we date, I need to know your thoughts on movies, music, and the menu at Taco Bell. All equally important to me.
People love talking to my girlfriend about me at bars, apparently.
Hey, how many calories does hating everyone burn?
Steve Jobs throws an iPad at Jesus, who is on a Blackberry like some kind of dickhead, and dryly says, "Heaven has a new CEO, motherfucker."
Home is where the pants aren't. And the couch is. And the Cheetos are. And over there is where I masturbate.
I wish 'Never Say Never' had the same ending as 'This Is It'.
LeBron James for The Cleveland Show #badcelebrityspokesperson
I couldn't be friends with Magic Johnson because my only comebacks are "Fuck you!" and "Suck my dick!" and frankly, I don't want AIDS.
I'm like the funniest person I know. Vice President of Random Google Searches at my awful, crappy job. Lifetime Indiana Pacers fan & season ticket holder.