Rainbows never have bad days.

Why are the cool kids cool if all the cool movies are about the uncool kids who are really the cool kids?

The most important employee in any work environment is the toilet.

Twitter is like a house of endless roommates.

Why isn't weed smoke green?

You couldn't beat me to death even if I let you jump first.

A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.

I'm so straight I eat hotdogs from the side. @armenianhbilly

A woodchuck = what chuck norris calls his boner.

The end is rear!!!!

I hate it when a sneeze teases you.

I want a portable confetti canon!! Everyday will be epic!

#InSouthAfrica We have green cream soda that cures hang overs

It can't be learnt it must be realized.

GET DOWN!!!! ~ every dance movie and action movie ever made.

The stonner gods just made me meet another brother along the way. I have been sent here to help him.

Do people realize there is no twitter bio requirement for tellin us how little shit you take and that you don't care.

I just did the most disgusting thing Ever. I had to reuse my socks.

If there are two humans in a room at the same time and one of them falls asleep its only a matter of time before they get poked with a stick

My super type keeps making hahahaha into hatians