A reversible bikini....now why would I want to do that?

"I'm an EMT"... Translates to "I'm terrified to check my bank balance". #myEMSday

Pt. "Don't you put on lights and sirens in an ambulance?"
Me "I'm sorry, your insurance doesn't cover that"
#myEMSday

On another note...my liver just sucker-punched my kidneys and told them to WORK FASTER, there's two of you!

Tweet like my battery widget isn't on RED!!!

If I put on my short plaid skirt and kneesocks... will you help me with my homework?

Amazing how the pain dissipates when the backboard and C-collar come out of the rig... #myEMSday

I asked him if I look hot in this black lace/leather with a side of textbook.

I'm drinking it like I stole it !

Favstar...get the fuck out...who knew !!!

I just polished my boots, bring on the Zombie Apocalypse... #myEMSday

Maybe if I vajazzled my BF would get confused with all the lights and call the tower to be re-routed # sexwithapilot

You laughed...but that tin-foil hat will come in pretty handy tomorrow !

Being a student...#livinlavidabroka

OMFG... look, a virgin !!
#myEMSday http://t.co/NktQi1pq

Let me pull this calculator out of my ass...whadyu mean they're not allowed on the test...#FML

The words on the page...they haunt me

Mind like a steel beer can...that is what beer cans are made of, right?

The only job where you sleep with men, but you don't get to SLEEP with them #FML

I'm so tired I'll need bread crumbs to find my way back.