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Having kids hasn't stopped us from doing anything we used to do.
We still do the same stuff, it's just ruined.
A good friend is like a good bra; comfortable, supportive and willing to hold your tits all day.
"What do we want?"
"When do we want it?
Blowjob Tip: Give more of them.
Get your Benedict Cumberbatch name by taking your favourite order of monks, adding a limitation & bread roll. Mine's Cistercian Restraincob.
What I lack in vocabulary I make up for in stuff.
Didn't have access to twitter earlier so I started following some random person around telling them about my sex life & showing them my arse
You people who have locked Twitter accounts, do you keep your monopoly money in a safe too?
"There, their, they're" ~ how to comfort a pedant.
"What do we want?" "Less pedants" "When do we want it?" "FEWER"
The difference between being complimented or offended by male attention, is how attractive they are.
My dentist told me I need a crown.
AT LAST ~ SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME.
When my kid is old enough to ask about how he was made I'll tell him the truth.
"Not enough lube for a butt fuck"
Guys if your girl won't try anal you may just need a better lube.
Start gently with a couple of pairs of shoes and progess to a handbag.
It's like 10,000 tweets when all you need is a life.