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I have goals. One of them is to finish the book I started the day before I discovered Twitter.
When my son was 9, I gave him $1 to tell the doctor he thought he had reptile disfunction. #true #HeThoughtThatsWhatTheCommercialSaid
And yes, When I see football players in a huddle on tv, I do think there is a chance they are talking about me.
I'm convinced that my son can only make friends that don't have an indoor voice.
No one ever got me a 'Congrats On Your Teen Pregnancy' cake.
I'm drinking alone in the dark while tweeting strange men. Could do worse,
( . Y . ) Oooops! I dropped my towel!
My Tweets make me laugh.
If your too young to know what a rotary phone is-Please don't DM me!! Makes me feel dirty.
I bet the people who get lots of RTs and Faves reread their tweets before they hit the send button.
Reason why my Hubby can't return his due library books-"They've already seen me in this outfit." Thinking I should've turned GLEE off sooner
I'm pretty sure my sex drive have driven away. If it passes by, please send it back.
I had no idea I had so many swingers following me! Hello and hold on tight--the monkey bars are next.
Every year I celebrate the birth of a very special boy that changed the world for good--Sir Isaac Newton--December 25, 1642
I was walking thru Aldi talking to my son, I said, "Fish is brain food-I never touch it-Don't want to take any chances." A stranger laughed.
You are so awesomely gorgeous. Yes, I'm talking to you and you *points over there* and you. I love my Tweeple.
You know you're getting old when even spunk gives u heartburn.
There's a baby giggling in the next booth--so cute until her mom said "Sit your black ass down"Then I burst into laughter. If I said that...
TL'd a DM again...I'm back baby...I'm back!
As we all know, I really don't need any beauty sleep, but I don't want to push my luck. Every body miss me lots-I can tell when you do =-)
And yes, When I see football players in a huddle on tv, I do think there's a chance they are talking about me.