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I have goals. One of them is to finish the book I started the day before I discovered Twitter.
When my son was 9, I gave him $1 to tell the doctor he thought he had reptile disfunction. #true #HeThoughtThatsWhatTheCommercialSaid
And yes, When I see football players in a huddle on tv, I do think there is a chance they are talking about me.
I'm convinced that my son can only make friends that don't have an indoor voice.
No one ever got me a 'Congrats On Your Teen Pregnancy' cake.
I'm drinking alone in the dark while tweeting strange men. Could do worse,
( . Y . ) Oooops! I dropped my towel!
My Tweets make me laugh.
If your too young to know what a rotary phone is-Please don't DM me!! Makes me feel dirty.
Reason why my Hubby can't return his due library books-"They've already seen me in this outfit." Thinking I should've turned GLEE off sooner
I bet the people who get lots of RTs and Faves reread their tweets before they hit the send button.
I'm pretty sure my sex drive have driven away. If it passes by, please send it back.
I had no idea I had so many swingers following me! Hello and hold on tight--the monkey bars are next.
Every year I celebrate the birth of a very special boy that changed the world for good--Sir Isaac Newton--December 25, 1642
I was walking thru Aldi talking to my son, I said, "Fish is brain food-I never touch it-Don't want to take any chances." A stranger laughed.
You are so awesomely gorgeous. Yes, I'm talking to you and you *points over there* and you. I love my Tweeple.
You know you're getting old when even spunk gives u heartburn.
There's a baby giggling in the next booth--so cute until her mom said "Sit your black ass down"Then I burst into laughter. If I said that...
TL'd a DM again...I'm back baby...I'm back!
As we all know, I really don't need any beauty sleep, but I don't want to push my luck. Every body miss me lots-I can tell when you do =-)
And yes, When I see football players in a huddle on tv, I do think there's a chance they are talking about me.