Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you shit in your sock before you fuck it, it's just like anal.
I just shaved my pubes for the first time in my life and it turns out that I have a vagina.
I make my kids watch M*A*S*H* because I had to watch that shit when I was little.
Why do all my customers insist on seeing my manager?
I really need to move out of my Mom's house so I can sniff somebody else's panties.
I'm gonna pay a visit to all your Farmvilles and bang your sheep.
Please follow me. Please follow me to my van.
"Almost."~ Me trying to suck my own cock.
Some douchehole yells "get a job" to me while I was walking to work.
I can't believe that my best tweet ever is about shitting in a sock.
My girlfriend farted while I was going down on her. I said "Ahhhh, fresh air!"
Thanks for all the new follows. When I get out of the joint I'm gonna pay each and everyone of you a personal visit.
Do that upside down Spider Man kiss with my wiener.
Correct me if I'm wrong but you play with a clit the same way you would shoot a marble, right?
I wish I would have read some of your guys' inspirational tweets before I got this tatoo.
My pubes are longer than my dick.
Every time I tweet on facebook I get banned for 7 days.
Do you know how hard it is to cook meth in this weather?
I've yet to lose a rap battle with a Walmart greeter.
I spent Easter with your seaster.
Don't get caught half-steppin' with your weapon on safety.