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Having Ashton Kutcher replace Charlie Sheen in 2 1/2 Men is the worst idea since Having Ashton Kutcher replace Bruce Willis in Demi Moore
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and they will never find a big enough piece of you to fucking identify.
@morgan_thinks7 @rosie Never. He attacked us. We fought back. hard. As we always will. Justice and revenge can be served simultaneously.
Anyone who sees "Bridemaids" and think it has "broken new ground" has OBVIOUSLY never been to a big wedding with an open bar.
They say the greatest tragedy is a parent outliving their children. Now with a rebuttal... #BadStartToAEulogy
Not EVERYONE who disagrees with you is a troll, or looking to pick an online fight. Sometimes people disagree with you.Grow up & get over it
Were you masturbating right at the time change last night? If so, did you cum before you started?
@crutnacker "Four score" was actually Lincoln confessing to his marital infidelities. #OreillyLincolnFacts
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It turns out that tonsils actually help prevent cancer, aids, and back pain. #ThingsyoudontEVERwanttohear
A Few Good Men in My Pants #improvefilmtitlesbyaddinginmypants I just threw up a little I think.
Harold Camping had a stroke, E-I-E-I-O....This stroke is what we call ironic, E-I-E-I-O..
THERE IS NOT A COP BEHIND THIS SIGN. SERIOUSLY, JUST KEEP SPEEDING.S'OK. #BadRoadSigns
#loriinlabor Throw the walkers the placenta! Run while they're all over that!
The ability to automatically rewind DVDs before returning them #UselessSuperPowers
Okay okay, fine. Send the panties too, just make sure the nude pictures are included in the box! Thanks!
