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Drunk as fuck in a church pew
I twerk for god
My life is a vapor drifting away in the air and someone is going to inhale me
I call noodles "long ass rice"
Sometimes I wonder what my life be like if I were black #DarkTweet
"Relationships are like fat people; they usually don't work out."
I'm trying to mingle on those Christian singles
Korra one hour finale!! #FanboysKeepingShitReal
My aunt moves from guy to guy and steals all their money. I wish I was a pretty woman so I could gold dig and ultimately #SlamDunk
Pain and loathing always follows a meal at White Castle
At Denny's again on drugs
Great news: I met Spyro the Dragon in my dream last night. What a cool dude!
If you're reading this tweet I love you
chuckie cheeses is gonna be packed tonight on 420
I can feel this Hawaiian punch eroding my teeth away as I drink it #AcidicDrankYo
It's swamp ass season out there
Clint Eastwood makes Detroit look good somehow
This tweet goes to all my spam bot followers, without you I wouldn't maintain the illusion of being popular