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Dear Ryan Gosling,
That'll be enough outta you.
Guys just remember, you don't have to be hung like a horse if you have a tongue like a snake. Also money.
Somewhere the American Dream got downgraded from "a house, a couple a kids, 2 cars, a good job" to "please just leave me the fuck alone"
I may kill a few animals to eat but at least I don't humiliate them by making them wear sweaters and shit in a box.
Nikola Tesla must be like the Anti Christ to the Amish
Hello weed store? Yes could I get some regular standard type weed.....Yes I'm sure, I don't want to see the devil
1) Own a house with a drawbridge
My type: blond,red,brunette,straight,curly,short,long hair, thin,short,tall,thick,petite girls w/small,large breasts who laugh at my jokes.
What you people call subtweeting, I just assumed were crazies talking to themselves.
I like girls in Tank tops. I hate guys in tank tops.
Why does every British television show look like it was shot I'n 1983?
Ladies if guys are always staring at your boobs and you are bothered by it, then put them away, or become more interesting.
When you talk to someone who refers to crack as Rock Cocaine, you are talking to an old school playa who has seen some shyt go down.
I talk a lot of shit but when I'm around old-timers or people that have been to war, I try to keep my fuckin mouth shut and listen
I've always wanted to date a bilingual girl. Wait...... What does bilingual mean? That's where girls kiss each other right?
Bartles and James: responsible for more date rapes than roofies.
That's right bitches I said Bartles and James
"I'm praying to Obama that he will stop the hurricane that Mitt Romney sent to New Jersey because he Hates Orange People" - Kanye West
When the day comes that I want or need your opinion on how 2 vote or which charity to support, I will fucking kill myself
If U say "Jimmy Carter" 3 times to a mirror in the dark, he will appear and, turn down your heat. Steal your gas and call you a racist
Lyfe is hard on da streets of Twitter, niggas be subtweetin',tryna block yo ass, unfollow you an shyt,you gotta be hard 2 survive