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Watching 500 Days of Summer. This shit is sad as fuck. I might cr--my eyeballs might piss all over my face.
Stop putting "last night was mad real" as a caption on a picture of you in the house with your dry ass friends and a bottle of Yellow Tail.
I love alot of you motherfuckers. If feel like we're roommates in some shitty apartment building, and we have a sitcom based around that.
Whenever someone pops their trunk I just assume its going to turn the entire car into a transformer. You do too. Don't lie.
I noticed that a lot of y'all don't like girls that fuck who they want and don't give a shit. I've noticed that they don't like you either.
On the plus side, my hair is very bouncy. I may, or may not, be swinging my head around for dramatic hair effect.
Welp. Plopped some whipped cream on a chocolate chip cookie. Are you there God? Its me, diabetes.
I have moisturizing socks on my feet. I feel like you're all jealous of that. Goodnight.
I'm a terrible influence. I'm always corrupting some sweet innocent guy. Building up an army though, for when the aliens come starting shit.
No one is more obsessed with sex, but so terrified of human sexuality, than the heterosexual male. NO ONE.
You can't tell a blasian NOTHIN'. If somebody is black and asian, bitch you gon' know. In their twitter bio. Tattooed on them. Errything.
The production on 'Oneirology' by Cunninlynguists is scary good. Disgustingly good. So good I wanna drown myself in a pool of it.
When I realized I wasn't, I said to myself..."I would have preferred the rape."
The name of my new show is: So You Think You Can Fuck? Auditions are in the alley behind the Rite Aid in ANY unsavory neighborhood.
I really hate a nigga that don't speak from the heart. Man up, and tell me how you feel, you moist fuck. Noodle ass bitch.
Usually you have this much taste, you European. That's the end of that way of thinkin', nigga never again.
